You're Poison, Running Through My Veins
by Claire is History
Summary: After Jasper kills a human, everything changes. The Jasper that everyone knows has been pushed aside by his dark, dangerous beast that had been caged up for so long. While the Cullens are disgusted and try to "fix" him, Bella is intrigued. She loves this side of Jasper, and she wants more.
1. Eyes On Fire

**I seek you out, flay you alive.**

**Walk my way, and you won't survive.**

_Eyes on Fire / Blue Foundation_

**. . .**

It was a Monday, a day like any other day. Bella awoke at 7:30 to the sound of her own personal alarm, Edward's silky smooth voice in her ear.

"Love," he murmured, his lips tickling her ear softly. "Time to wake up."

A large yawn passed her lips, and she reached blindly up, burying her head further into the pillows, her hand finding purchase on his frigid face. Her fingers moved across his half-amused, half-confused expression before they came to a stop on his lips.

"Shh," she coaxed incoherently. "Sleep."

"Love, Alice wants you at the house bright and early," Edward responded with his typical crooked smile, taking her fingers gently in his and giving the back of her warm hand a soft kiss. "My apologies."

"Alice can just…," she responded in petulant defiance, the end of her sentence lost to herself, and even to Edward as she yawned, her head burrowing further into the pillows.

A mischievous grin turning at his lips, Edward gently gripped Bella's slender waist, his fingers digging softly into her skin. Almost instantly, Bella burst out into laughter, starting to squirm away from the cold fingers that tickled her. Edward couldn't help but laugh, too; the laugh that bubbled from his human's lips was infectious. It lit up the room.

Finally, Bella was up, fully on her feet, pointing a slender finger at the vampire who was grinning broadly on the bed, eyes bright with adoration as he gazed at her. "You," she gasped. "You are a terrible person."

Pretending to be hurt, Edward pouted, his golden eyes growing wide, his brows pulling up and together. "That hurt," he said, putting a hand to his chest.

Growling at him quietly, Bella threw a pillow at his face, which he caught mid-air. Making a face, Bella grabbed the bag she kept for the bathroom and padded out of the room, rubbing her eyes, trying to stop the blurriness that clouded her vision. Edward smiled happily, tossing himself back fully on the bed and reaching into his pocket. As the shower started in the room next to him, Edward pulled out the slender, oval ring that was his mother's. When he arrived at the house, Alice would be expecting him to have proposed to Bella; she would be expecting the ring to be on Bella's finger. Ugh. She was going to bite his head off.

Soon, Bella came walking back into the room, her hair pulled up into a towel, tired circles under her eyes, her outfit already on, a simple pair of sweatpants and a tank top. As of late, Bella had been waking up earlier - per Alice request - so that she could be dressed "properly" as Alice said. Obviously, it was taking a toll on her. A large yawn passing her lips, Bella pulled her hair from the towel, running her fingers through her locks. Although she felt Edward's worrying gaze on her, she didn't say much, just running her pick through her hair before silently heading down the stairs.

He was only half a step behind her, his arms snagging around her waist. "You look tired."

"I don't think you're supposed to say that to a woman," Bella warned, giving him a disapproving glance over her shoulder, pulling on a black zip-up sweater and sliding her feet into a pair of slippers.

"I didn't mean it negatively. You're always gorgeous. I just mea-"

Bella rose a hand, effectively cutting him off. She was so _tired _of him not wanting to step on her toes. He was the perfect man. Literally. He was kind and caring and protective. He loved her; he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He wanted to give her everything; he showered her in gifts. But there was still something, something _missing_. It was too perfect, and Bella was always very weary, almost like she was waiting for him to snap.

The question wasn't _if. _It was _when_. And it was coming. Soon.

**x x x**

But who Bella really should have been worried about was not Edward, but his brother, Jasper, which became apparent as the pair approached the Cullen house to quite the spectacle. Eyes growing wide, Bella pulled her truck to a stuttering stop. The only thing that she could hear was her heartbeat thudding in her ears. Edward, at her side, was stiff, his eyes intent on the spectacle in front of them.

Jasper was at the center of this commotion; his arms were pinned behind by Emmett, whose mouth was moving rapidly, obviously speaking at speed that Bella wouldn't be able to hear, even if she could register anything auditory. Although commotion swirled around the lean, blonde vampire, Bella seemed incapable of tearing her wide eyes from him.

Blood, deep red and obviously fresh covered him almost completely; it dripped from his mouth, covered his shirt, splashed through his messy locks of hair. While he struggled violently against Emmett, she could see flashes of his face. His teeth were bared, his lips pulled back in a wicked snarl. And then his eyes flashed up, catching Bella's with ease, his lips curling into a smirk, his struggles stopping. Her breath caught in her throat, her eyes widening slightly.

Red. His eyes were red. They were not the dark color that she saw with James, Victoria, Laurent, or the Volturi, the dull red of hunger. They were a vivid red, the color of rich blood. The eyes of satisfaction. Jasper had recently fed on a human.

Slowly, Bella exhaled, her eyes not once wavering from Jasper's, her teeth taking purchase on her bottom lip. Strangely, Bella felt no fear, simply curiosity and shock. There was no doubt that Jasper could sense that, her lack of fear. It made her easy prey. She trusted him. But then again, he might like them scared, begging to stay alive. This thought snapped her out of her reverie, her eyes looking, startled, to where Edward was.

_What the hell was the thinking?_

Edward's mouth moved, speaking to her, but Bella heard nothing. Instead of asking him to repeat - she knew that she wouldn't hear - she simply nodded her head, staying in her place as he launched himself out of the car. Hesitantly, feeling a burning gaze on her, Bella shifted her eyes back to Jasper, finding his vivid orbs glued to her, the sinister, wicked smirk still twisted onto his lips. Curiously, Bella tipped her head to the side, her eyes studying Jasper. And then it wasn't just Jasper's eyes on her. It was everyone.

While it was still obvious that Jasper was out of control, he held himself like a lion ready to pounce. (Bella had no doubt that fearsome snarls that would instill fear in even the bravest of people were ripping from that smirk on his face.) Tensed, not fighting as he had been. No one knew how to take that.

Was it a sign of surrender or was it a sign of what was to come?

Everyone waited in breathless anticipation for the answer.

Bella wasn't sure how long she sat like that, everyone's eyes flicking back and forth between Jasper and her, her dark brown eyes intent on his blood red ones. Seconds could have been minutes. Minutes could have hours. There was no time in the tunnel vision that she had developed around Jasper. The tension in the air was palpable. No one could fathom whyJasper had calmed - for lack of a better word - at the sight of Bella, let alone what was going to happen next.

Before Bella could realize what she was doing, her fingers wrapped around the door handle of her truck. Everyone tensed further and shifted toward Jasper, ready to put a wall between Bella and him. Bella hopped from her truck, flicking a lock of hair behind her ears. Placing her hands on her hips, she raked her eyes over Jasper.

"You look like shit," she informed the loose cannon of a vampire, leaning against her truck.

Confusion colored the air. No one was sure where that had come from or how Bella was being so casual about this. Edward's brows set into a frown as he studied Bella, trying to figure out what she was thinking. She was crazy. He had told her to _stay in the truck_, not get out and taunt Jasper. She was crazy.

To everyone's surprise, Jasper's laughed throatily, his smirk lessening slightly in wickedness, becoming more amused as his body relaxed slightly.

"Look who's talking," he shot back, his voice quiet and low as usual, the undertone of a growl in his words. He was still out of control. There was no doubt.

"Why thank you." Bella's brown eyes rolled, her tone coloring her words sarcastically. What was it with men and telling her that she looked like shit today?

The wind trembled through softly, and every once of relaxation that had taken over the party in front of the Cullen house was sucked out with it. Tension laid heavy across the expansive driveway they all stood, and Jasper tipped his head up, inhaling deeply, his eyes lulling closed.

"You smell exquisite," he rumbled, his eyes flicking open suddenly, zeroing back on her. Despite the fact that he had just fed, they were slowly darkening again, hunger taking them over. More. He wanted more.

A lazy laugh fell from Bella's lips, and she pushed a lock of still-damp hair back from her eyes. "So I've been told."

Jasper was becoming frustrated; she _still _wasn't scared. He wanted her scared; he wanted to smell the fear in her scent. Mm. Sweet, sweet fear. "I'd love to sink my teeth into that pretty throat of yours."

Unable to help herself, in response to his words, a shiver rolled down Bella's spine. It wasn't out of fear, though; she didn't know what emotion was from. And although she knew it was sick to like it, she did; she loved the raw, unadulterated darkness that was radiating from him. At the same time Bella shuddered, Edward had growled at Jasper, who had simply laughed in response.

"She loves that, Edward. That I want to kill her."

A dark laugh fell from his lips, his eyes turning black as they moved up Bella's slender frame. His mind was blank. That was probably the scariest thing. He had no thought. Everything he did was pure, raw instinct, pure vampirism. No self control; no sense of humanity. Iciness settled across the Cullen family, eyes turning to Bella, who stayed impassive, a smirk on her lips, a brow arched.

"You really think a lot of yourself, don't you?" she shot right back. Everything in her body, her rational mind was telling her to shut up, to run, that he was going to kill her, but the curious part of her brain kept her calm, kept her rooted in place, kept sassy comments coming out of her mouth.

Rather than commenting on what she had said, Jasper continued with his thought, his eyes rolling to Edward. "You really don't satisfy her do you?" he taunted, a broad smirk pulling at his lips as Edward growled and Carlisle and Esme gasped. "I always figured that you did, but that you're too much of a damn _gentleman _to admit it, but you honestly don't." He barked out a loud laugh. "If I was fucking her...mmm, man, everyone would know. I'd have her screaming m-"

Before Jasper could get the rest of his statement out, Edward had lunged at him, his teeth snapping inches from his brother's neck. The only thing that prevented Edward's deadly sharp from sinking into Jasper's neck was Carlisle, who had jumped into action, grabbing Edward and yanking him back sharply.

"Son," he said quietly, pulling his struggling son along. "Bella is here. You have to calm down."

Seeming to just remember that Bella was, in fact, there, Edward turned his eyes to her. Before Bella had a chance to blink, to part her lips in question, Edward was next to her, opening the door for her. "Bella, we have to go," he said lowly, his fingers wrapping around her upper arm.

Frowning slightly, Bella shook him off. "And what are you going to do with Jasper?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips, giving the wayward vampire a sideways glance, so which he smirk-smiled back.

"Don't worry about it. We'll get him in check."

Bella went to question further, but Jasper chimed in. "Yeah, Bella. They'll take real good care of me. Don't worry a bit, sugar. I'll be all fine and dandy and whole in the morning, as son as they get me back in check."

Slowly, Bella got into the truck, her eyes never leaving Jasper's. Edward leaned in, reassuring her quietly that he would be back. With that, Emmett heaved Jasper straight again, starting to walk backwards with him; Jasper complied easily, keeping his eyes on Bella, a smirk on his lips.

As soon as Jasper was out of her eyesight, it was like the barrier that blocked her curiosity from her rational mind was broken. All the fear, all the panic, the healthy emotions that she should have been feeling while interacting with Jasper, came flooding into her. The wind knocked out of her, Bella rested her forehead weakly on the steering wheel, trying to take in deep, measured breaths. She had _taunted _a vampire, a vampire who had just fed on a human whose blood still dripped from his clothes. She had responded with nothing but curiosity, rabid and difficult to control, when he had said that he wanted to kill her. Almost like she wanted it, like she wanted him to sink his teeth into her. That would be so hot.

Wait….what?

What the hell was she thinking?

Banging her head against the steering wheel to try and clear her mind, Bella flinched when the door opened, and Edward slid in. Gently, he pulled her into his lap, gently running his fingers through her now-dry hair. He murmured soothingly into her hair, gently shifting her so that he could tuck her head under his chin and easily drive.

Starting the car, Edward gently smoothed his fingers through her hair, murmuring incoherently, reassuring her that it would be all right. Surprising both of them, Bella was not crying. Once she had gotten ahold of her breathing, her thoughts had consumed her as she stared out the window, numbly bumping along with Edward beside her.

She had a feeling. It spidered from her heart, through her veins, turning her cold; it settled in a hard lump at the pit of her stomach. Change was coming. For the better, for the worse, she did not know. But it would not come without struggle, without pain.

* * *

**A/N: *crawls out from under the rock I've been living under for the past...six months or so.* Hi. *waves***

**So, this is the rewrite/AU of Angels Show Up In the Strangest of Places. I did not like where it went, and I felt the need for some adjustments. I hope that you all will like it.**

**I have taken a liking to darker, more dominant characters, in my absence, so I've decided to inflict that upon Jasper.**

******x x x**

**Thank you so much,**

**Claire**


	2. Waking Up the Devil

**Wakin' up the devil, rattlin' the cage inside of me**

**I miss him a little;**

**When he gets out, we're one hell of a team**

**I know I ought to leave him locked upand throw away the key.**

_Waking Up the Devil / Hinder_

**. . .**

The week passed by in a blur for Bella; classes mushed together, conversations blended into one muted mess. Her brain was preoccupied by one thing. Jasper. No one seemed to notice her absentmindedness throughout the week, not even Edward, who was always painfully aware of her lies. She figured that he - and Alice - must be preoccupied with Jasper as well.

Finally, Sunday rolled around. Edward was out hunting with Esme and Alice, both of whom needed to take their minds off of Jasper. Edward had gone mostly because Bella had all but kicked him out of her house. Stupid boy. The whole thing was stressful on the family, but particularly the motherly vampire and the pixie-like wife of Jasper.

It was two in the morning when Bella made the decision to get out of the house. For two hours previously, she had been tossing and turning, trying to get to sleep, trying to clear her mind, her body temperature never quite right. That didn't help the fact that no matter how hard she tried, her mind would not shut up.

_Drip, drip, drip. _

_Jasper, Jasper, Jasper._

She would have been perfectly fine, had it not been hot. She could deal with being at a comfortable temperature and not sleeping, but hot and not sleeping? No, sir. Getting to her feet, Bella pulled on a pair of skinny jeans, tucking in the edges of the button-down shirt loosely into the waistband. Grabbing her boots, Bella quietly stole out of the house, expertly bouncing from one safe spot to another, carefully avoiding the loud squeaks that riddled the old house.

Finally, Bella was sliding into the the silky smooth leather driver's seat of the Volvo. Why exactly Edward had trusted her enough to leave her with his baby, she had no idea, but she was thankful, so thankful. Mostly because her truck would have been painfully loud and probably would have woken Charlie, but also because her truck was starting to die out on her, unfortunately, and she was having trouble starting it.

**x x x**

Ten minutes later, after driving through the densely forested and snaked roads of Forks, Bella pulled up in front of the Cullen house. (She honestly wasn't really sure what had taken her there. Safe to say that it was not her conscious mind. Her subconscious reminded her quickly why she was there. _Drip, drip, drip. Jasper, Jasper, Jasper._) As she fully pulled the car to a stop, shifting the gears into park, Carlisle's familiar blonde head poked out of the house in surprise, the coach lights flicking on. When he saw Bella, Carlisle was almost instantly at her door, opening it up.

"Are you all right, Bella?" he asked in concern, his tired eyes sweeping the forest nervously, as though he was looking for someone who had followed her.

Bella quickly shut off the car, pocketing the key as she got out. Rather than locking the doors, she shrugged at Carlisle, starting to walk in. "It's two in the morning, and I'm awake. You're a doctor." In retrospect, seconds later, she realized that she shouldn't have been so sharp. Sighing slightly, Bella turned back to Carlisle, giving him a small smile. "I'm all right. No creepy ghouls or anything following me."

With her less hostile correction, Carlisle relaxed, smiling easily at her, seeming to perk up with her presence. "Good, good." Stepping ahead of her, he ran his fingers through his hair, opening the door for her.

Giving a mock curtsey, Bella walked in, murmuring her thanks. As soon as Bella walked into the Cullen house, a stiffness, a coldness settled in her bones. The tension in the air was palpable; she could practically taste it.

"Jesus christ," she mumbled to herself.

Out of nowhere, Rosalie and Emmett appeared from the left, and Bella practically jumped out of her skin, stumbling back slightly to Carlisle, who caught her with a chuckle. The coldness, the hatred in Rosalie's brandy-colored eyes was clear as she looked at Bella.

"Do you have a death wish?" she asked icily before brushing past.

Bella blinked slightly, a small smile twitching at her lips. _Well, actually. _Before she could say something that she regretted, Emmett gave her an apologetic grimace before traipsing after his wife. Clearing her throat quietly, Bella turned her dark eyes up to Carlisle, studying him as his eyes followed the figures of his 'daughter' and 'son' into the family room.

"Where is he?" There was no question as to who _he _was.

"Upstairs, but Bella, I don't think you sh-" But before Carlisle could finish his warning, Bella had already started up the stairs, having walked away half through.

"Thanks," she muttered under her breath, knowing full well that Carlisle could hear.

Carlisle collapsed into one of the large club chairs in the living room, rubbing his temples tiredly. Rosalie studied him analytically, and Emmett gently rubbed her knee, trying to get her to calm down. There was no calming down, though, in a situation like that.

"He'll kill her," Rosalie said simply.

"And Edward will flip his shit," her husband added with a delighted chuckle.

"No one is killing anyone," Carlisle said sharply. "We'll stop it before it becomes that advanced."

"He's been fine for the past week, with Bella gone. We have no idea how he'll react to her." Rosalie ran her fingers through her hair, nervousness in the human gesture. It was not worry for Bella, but rather for her pseudo-brother. She was not a person that got close to very many people, and she did genuinely care for Jasper. A very rare thing.

"The door's locked." Carlisle reached across and gently patted Rosalie's knee, giving it a small squeeze. "She will be fine."

Upstairs, the sound of a door opening was heart. Tension settled over the household again, each of the vampires' eyes turning up to the ceiling.

**. . .**

It had taken Bella a bit of wandering to find the room that Jasper was in, but it was quite easy to spot, as the walls surrounding were a bit torn up from - no doubt - Jasper's struggles after she had left. However, the door leading to where he was, unlike the surrounding area, was perfectly pristine. Almost like the eye of the storm.

Inside, Jasper perked, a smirk tugging at his lips. He could tell by the tone of the emotions on his pallet that it was Bella outside his door. That, and of course, the heartbeat. But it was mostly the sharpness, the sweetness in her emotions, how much different they were from any he had ever experienced. Typically, emotions were quite flat, one-dimensional, the person only capable of feeling one at a time. It got exceptionally boring, particularly in a high-school setting. Lust, lust, lust, angst, lust, lust, lust. More lust.

Bella's emotions were quite different. Although he hadn't experienced her full spectrum of emotions, nor had he been close enough to her to identify each by its texture, he knew they were special. Very special. Like nothing he'd ever felt or tasted. He made him hungry not only to get to know her, the reasoning behind her emotions, but also to feel, to experience them all. It would be a trip unlike any other.

Slowly, the door creaked open, and Jasper stiffened slightly, taking a slow, deep breath as Bella walked into the room, her scent assaulting his senses with aggression.

"Jasper?" Bella prompted quietly, stepping further into the room, her eyes scanning across the well-furnished study in surprise. Like Carlisle's, it housed floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, absolutely piled full of leather-bound books. Despite the light furniture in the rest of the Cullen household, Jasper's study was furnished in deep, rich colors. Calming and warm, much like him.

Staying silent, Jasper let his eyes follow Bella as she ventured in front of him, not noticing him in the large, wing-backed chair. Of course she wouldn't; he had no need for human scuttling. Finally, Bella turned about, her heartbeat freezing for a moment as she gasped, her hand flying up to her mouth in shock before her heart took off at a breakneck speed. The taste of her shock laid against Jasper's system, making him shudder. Like fireworks. Sharp and bright, a jolt to his system, light lightening. Shock was an emotion that was often very missed among the vampire community. With their enhanced hearing and sight, it was easy to take the surprise out of fun activities.

"Fucking christ," Bella swore, her fingers running through her hair as she calmed down.

A lazy chuckle left Jasper's lips, and he gestured to the chair across from him. "Take a seat."

Arching a brow, Bella leaned against the aforementioned seat, her arms crossing. Suspicion like wildfire spread from Bella, rapidly invading Jasper's senses, bringing his lips up further at either edge. An almost smile. "I think I'm good," she informed him somewhat sassily, her ankles crossing.

"That you are," Jasper murmured absently, his eyes - somewhat darker than she had last seen - raking along her long legs that were hugged by her dark washed skinny jeans.

"Are you planning on humping my legs or something?" Bella looked at him with an arched brow, an expression of disgust on her face.

Before Jasper could properly control himself, before Bella could register what was happening, she was being shoved abruptly up against the wall behind her, Jasper's leg between her legs, pinning her effectively with his body. A sharp gasp left her lips, her brown eyes doe wide as she looked up to the crimson-eyed vampire that towered over her. Her plump, pink lips were parted with shock, her breath caught in her throat. Inside her chest, her heart hammered, and Jasper's eyes darkened.

Leaning down, Jasper ran his nose along her jaw, and Bella trembled softly underneath him. Her breath resumed, shaky and shallow. Growling softly, Jasper cupped her face roughly in his hands, his now-blackening eyes staring intently into hers. Bella stood, transfixed, unable to tear her eyes away from Jasper, her chest heaving with the effort of having to control her breathing, calm her heart.

"So fucking sweet," Jasper groaned softly, his head dropping to her shoulder. His fingers relinquished their hold in her face, instead finding purchase in her soft locks, tugging her head back, exposing her throat. Slowly, Jasper pressed his nose to her thudding vein, a half-pained groan leaving his lips.

Bella whimpered softly in response, biting at her bottom lip, trying to calm herself down. Inside, she was conflicted. She was scared, yes (_That _wall had not built itself up again.) but something else. Something, something.

_Satisfied. _She was satisfied. It was like her body was screaming: _finally_. Then an echo of a thought from earlier traipsed through her brain. _Something was missing. _And it hit her. That "something". It was adrenaline pumping through her veins. It was excitement; it was something _new_, something _fresh_. It was feeling things that she had never felt before, experiencing new things, not knowing what was coming next.

And that "thing" was _danger_.

The front door burst opened, and Edward's distinct roar rang out, trembling the house to its core. Suddenly, Jasper was pulled away from her, his eyes still on her, his eyes dark. Bella held her ground, her eyes wide, still on Jasper's. Edward came in front of her, his hands gently cupping her face, his soft fingers dancing across her heated skin, soothing her verbally. Bella didn't even spare him a glance; she was intent on Jasper.

She had gotten what she had wanted; she had gotten danger. And now that her body had had a taste, it wanted more. It craved it.

Bella still hadn't registered what had happened with Jasper when she was being pulled out of the room by Edward. Carlisle was in front of them, his eyes worriedly on the human who seemed to be in shock.

"Bel-"

Raising a hand, Bella shook her head, letting her eyes close. While she regained herself, Bella kept her hand suspended, taking a deep breath. It took her brain a solid two minutes (The fact that Edward was practically vibrating at her side was not helping one bit.) to get through all the emotions, all the thoughts from Jasper's incident, to finally comprehend what had happened. Then another thirty seconds later, her brain finally caught up with her body, and she dropped her hand.

"I'm fine. He didn't hurt me," she reassured, rolling her shoulders back, wincing softly at the soft pops that rippled along her joints.

"Why were you even up at this time?" Edward demanded, running his fingers through his hair.

Although Bella knew that his irritation was only out of worry, she couldn't help but bridle. "No one would tell me anything. I spent all fucking week thinking through the different scenarios that could have happened that I wouldn't have known about. I've hardly even gotten any sleep. Honestly, it wasn't to make sure Jasper was all right, that he was alive. It was so I could finally get some goddamn sleep."

So, that last part was a lie; she _had _come to make sure that Jasper was alive and well - or as well as he could be - but that wasn't something Edward, who was looking quite startled at her outburst, had to know.

Without another word, Bella brushed past Edward, dropping his keys into his hands that had been outstretched no doubt for her. When she was finally safely in the plush leather seats of the Volvo, Bella let her mind relax, willing it to stop being so full. Within seconds, she was dead asleep. Finally.

**x x x**

Monday morning, Bella did not awake to her typical school day alarm, Edward's voice murmuring at her to awake. Instead, it was her phone, making little noises that meant that she had a text message. Sighing softly, Bella opened her eyes, a large yawn passing through her lips. Reaching around her bed, a frown came to her lips; the bed was lukewarm, a sign that Edward wasn't - and hand't been - there. Grumbling quietly to herself, Bella sat up, feeling around as she blinked the sleep from her eyes, finally finding her phone in her bedside table. As she rubbed her eyes tiredly, Bella blindly opened up her phone, yawning largely.

There were twenty-two unread messages. _Fucking seriously? _Twenty-one of them were from an unfamiliar number, and one was from Edward, telling her that he had left early to go and finish hunting briefly with Alice. Bella scrolled through the rest of the messages, finally deciphering who it was. Jasper. Curiously, Bella responded to his texts.

_Jesus, Jasper. Humans do this fancy thing called sleep._

"Oh, do they really now?" From the window came a deep, rumbling voice with a lazy Southern drawl.

* * *

**A/N: Hello, all. S****o, I've decided that I'll be updating - at the most - every monday, wednesday, and friday. Sorry that this is so late.**

**A. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS. Every time that I saw that I had email about reviews, it absolutely made my day. I hope that you all will like this story as well.**

**B. The results of the question from last week: Nearly unanimously, choice C was chosen. However, I had quite a few requests for a mixture of C with either A or B. I won't tell you how yet (Spoilers!) but know that some different sides of Jasper are going to be playing in the future, not just strictly C.**

**C. In regards to the poll about the story title: the final three have been chosen. You have until tomorrow this time to put your vote in before I change the story title permanently.**

**D. Due to popular request, I will not be deleting the "original" of this story. I have made it clear that it will not be finished, and have left it.**

**Until next time,**

**Claire**


	3. 2 Sides of Me

**And if you wanna like me,**

**Girl, you'd better find me before the sun goes down.**

**And if you wanna hate me, it ain't gonna take me long,**

**Just stick around.**

**It's like a match to gasoline,**

**I'm nice as hell 'till I get mean**

_2 Sides of Me - Hinder_

**_…_**

_"Oh, do they really now?" From the window came a deep, rumbling voice with a lazy Southern drawl._

Bella let out a shriek before her hand clapped over her mouth; her heart hammered against her ribcage, adrenaline sparking her nerves like live wires. Unable to help himself, Jasper burst out into laughter, doubling over, his hands bracing against his knees.

"Damn, darlin', I need to hang out with you more; you're a riot."

Taking a deep breath, Bella let her hand down, her heart still pounding, and turned toward him, glaring slightly. "You are fucking anti-christ," she grumbled, collapsing back against her bed.

"Well, just a vampire, technically, but I appreciate the compliment." With a smile, Jasper pounced onto her bed, near her feet, poking them through the covers. "Lighten up, kid."

"Don't call me kid," Bella whined, pulling one of her pillows over her head. "You're a dick, you know. Depriving me of my sleep even when I know you're all right and haven't slaughtered the damn town. It's just plain rude."

Jasper smirked over at her. "It would take me a while to kill the whole town, darlin', if I was bein' neat and not lettin' any blood go to waste."

Bella looked at him sideways. "Dick," she reiterated, waving in his general direction.

Jasper patted her foot before getting back to his feet, walking around her relatively small room, curious about everything. He didn't know anything about her, and the best way to figure someone out, he supposed, was by examining their possessions. "You like Emily Brontë?" he asked curiously, picking up a worn copy of _Wuthering Heights_ from her bedside table.

Bella glanced up from under her pillow, looking suspiciously at the blonde vampire - who still, mind you, had blood red eyes - that was perpendicular to her bed. Arching a brow, she nodded slowly. "Yes," she said slowly, eyeing him critically. "Why?"

"Just curious," he defended, putting the beat up book back down and moving onto her bookshelf, kneeling down in front of it - as it was low to the ground - to examine the spines of the books that lined the shelves.

Tipping her head to the side, Bella studied him, wondering why he was so curious about her books. There was nothing special about her books. There were some older fiction books and loads of nonfiction, particularly war books. She had a thing for war books.

"Why are you here, Jasper?" she asked, pulling her slender legs up to her chest. As she waited for his response, she tugged her hair out of its half-undone bun and retied it lazily.

"You like the Civil War," Jasper commented with obvious approval, holding up one of her dozen or so books on the Civil War.

"I do," Bella agreed, arching a brow as he smiled his approval and put the book back. "Why is that such a big deal."

"You're looking a Calvary Major for the Texas division?" Jasper said proudly. Bella noticed how his chest puffed out slightly, and a smile tugged at her lips, her eyes brightening slightly.

"Well, howdy do, Major." Bella put on her best Southern drawl, batting her eyelashes in a poor - purposefully so - rendition of Scarlett O'Hara.

For a moment, Jasper just stared at her, unblinking, but soon erupted into roars of laughter, falling back onto the floor, his head thrown back, deep, rumbling genuine laughs tearing from him easily. Bella glared at him in mock-anger, trying her best to keep her face straight, but she eventually couldn't help and slid easily into laughter, her face flushing, her eyes bright.

"God, darlin'," Jasper laughed, regaining himself slowly as Bella panted quietly, wiping at the tears that threatened to overflow. She fanned herself slightly, trying in vain to get more air into her lungs, shaking her head slightly. "That was horrific."

"I know, I know," she said, waving him off as she calmed herself down, regulating her breathing after a few minutes.

"But really, that's so rad. So you were there? Did you fight in any battles?" Bella bit at her lip to stop herself from pressing further. She knew that veterans that came back from war typically did not like talking about their time in battle. Then again, veterans that she had learned about weren't vampires who had recently killed a human.

Jasper laughed at the expression on her face, rolling his eyes, guessing the direction that her thoughts had taken when she had cut off so abruptly. "Yes, I was there, but I didn't really fight in many battles. I was more in charge of evacuating cities and communication. I would have liked to be in the actual foot army, but I was fantastic at what I did. You don't have to be afraid to ask me anything. I won't bite." Bella arched a brow cryptically, and Jasper just smiled in response. "Not unless you want it, that is."

Rolling her eyes, Bella threw a pillow at him, which he caught, almost instantly at her side. Her breath caught in her throat and she looked at him with wide eyes. A smirk on his lips, Jasper leaned down, letting his strong, rough fingers run across the throbbing vein in her throat.

"And I think you do." Slowly, he bent down so that their noses were nearly touching, Bella's eyes wide as she stared into Jasper's, much like a deer in the headlights. "Mm. No, I know you do." Monitoring her carefully, Jasper moved to press his lips against the vein in her throat that his fingers had just been stroking. Unable to help herself, Bella whimpered, her head tipping back slightly. "Oh, you _do _want it, don't you darlin'," Jasper rumbled against her skin. He gave her skin a sharp nip before backing off with a smirk.

Bella's heart hammered in her chest, and her eyes were safely closed, her breathing shallow. Jasper took a deep breath, trying to remind himself why he was here. Not to taunt her; he didn't need to keep that front up with her, especially if he wanted to keep in her good favor.

"Sorry, Bella," he said quietly, gently kneeling back onto her bed, stroking his fingers across her cheek affectionately. "That was out of line."

Shocked, Bella's eyes opened, doe wide as she looked at him, her head tipping to the side softly. A small smile tugged at her lips and she reached up, her fingers trembling slightly and patting them against the back of his hand. "It's all right, Jasper."

Sighing, Jasper fell back onto her bed, putting his face in his hands. It was safe, he knew, to talk to Bella. Edward was long gone, and he had been home alone, save Rosalie, who hadn't exactly given half two fucks if he had left. He was safe to talk to her. Bella adjusted herself around, gently moving to stroke her fingers through his hair, surprised at how soft it was, but keeping her body safely away from him. She wasn't sure how he would react to a hug or her body being so close.

"It's all right," she soothed again, smoothing his messy hair down.

"It's not. It really isn't. You haven't done anything to me, and I'm being a dick." He scrubbed his hands over his face, letting out a quiet growl of frustration. "I'm sorry," he apologized, earning an inquisitive look from Bella. "For nearly killing you. I probably terrified you. That day I killed the human." Bella nodded slightly, continuing to stroke her fingers through his hair; she knew he still had something to say, so she stayed silent. "I was completely out of control. I never should have done that. And then against yesterday." He shook his head. "Inexcusable. I'm sorry, but I understand if you don't want to accept my apology and you just want to scream and yell, then kick me out of the house. I'm good with anything. I deserve it."

A soft laugh bubbling from her lips, Bella tugged Jasper's hands away from his face, which, thankfully, he let her do because it was like trying to beak a statue. Tapping his cheek softly, she coaxed his gaze to her, which he reluctantly complied with.

"Jasper it is completely fine. It was, I suppose, to be expected. You had just um…'fallen off the wagon'-" She made a face at the expression; it almost made Jasper smile. "And had human blood. That's natural for your kind, and your kind is naturally violent and...stuff. It wasn't you; I could tell." With a small smile, Bella ran her fingers through his hair. "So, apology accepted."

With a broad smile spreading across his face, his eyes brightened, and Bella couldn't help but grin in response. Before she could ask if she could hug him, Jasper's strong, cold arms were tight around her, squishing him to his chest. Bella laughed quietly, her arms winding around him in return, resting her chin lightly on his shoulder.

"You give good hugs," she murmured. Sighing happily, she relaxed into him, a soft yawn peeking through her lips, pressing her face lightly into the crook of his neck. The coolness of his neck was familiar, but the scent was new. Rather than being almost sickly sweet like Edward's, Jasper smelled of a mix of clean cotton and…summer, warm and inviting. It was absolutely lovely.

"I'm glad; I haven't honestly hugged someone other than a select few in over a hundred years. And longer than that a human. It's nice," he murmured, lightly stroking his fingers through her hair. "You're so warm."

"Are you going to let me sleep now?" she asked in a murmur, a yawn peeking through her lips.

"Sure, darlin'."

Sighing gently in relief, Bella let her arms unwind from around him, falling back against the covers. With a lazy smile, Jasper relaxed back with her, gently stroking his fingers through her soft hair. For a while, she was silent, her eyes closed, expressionless, Jasper studying her profile absently. Such a gorgeous woman. After fifteen minutes, a loud rumble came from Bella's stomach, and her eyes popped open in surprise.

"Number one rule of humans," she informed jasper, "when the stomach informs you it wants food, you give it food."

With that, Bella swung herself off the bed, padding out the door and skipping down the stairs. Jasper shadowed her carefully, curiously watching her as she hunted through the kitchen.

"What do you humans eat?" Jasper asked, hopping up onto the counter.

Bella hummed as she poked through the fridge, pouting slightly as she debated on what to eat. "It depends on what we feel like or what we like. I like meat and carbs, so that's pretty broad. I eat anything and everything." Backing out of the fridge, she held a carton of eggs and a package of sausage, starting up the stovetop.

"I remember eating bacon and eggs and biscuits and gravy. My mama, I think, made the best."

A smile tugged at Jasper's lips as he slid back into a hazy memory of sitting around a large oak table with an older, blonde woman and a dark-haired, soldierly man. The memory faded just as fast at it had come, and Jasper's eyes focused on Bella's neck. Unable to help himself, he zeroed in on the throbbing vein in her neck. Before he knew properly what he was doing, he was up, his lips at her neck, his tongue against the vein, a low groan rippling up his throat. So fucking good.

"Jasper," Bella said lightly, reaching back to gently tug at his hair, which succeeded only in earning a growl from him. "Jasper." Her tone was stern, sharp, bringing him instantly back to reality, ripping his lips from her neck.

"Fuck, darlin', I'm so sorry," he said, putting his face in his hands.

A smile turned up Bella's lips, and she reached behind, lightly taking his hand. "Come here," she coaxed. Gently, she brought him close, letting his arm wrap around her, her head tucked against his side. (Shit, he was tall!) Her arm wound gently around him, letting him press his face into her hair.

"I'm sorry, darlin'," he said softly into her hair.

"I know," Bella reassured, gently giving his waist a squeeze, plopping a few sausage patties onto the skillet, smiling at the satisfying sizzling sound they made.

"I don't know why I keep flipping back and forth between a decent guy and a bloodthirsty vampire. Trying to keep the latter part out, but it's so fucking hard," he fretted.

Bouncing his thoughts off of her just seemed right, _normal_, like it was regular. But in reality, he'd probably said under twenty-five words to her before the incident last week. That had been put in new light. Some he was thankful for and used to his advantage, but some were confusing and muddled, and he wasn't sure what to do with them. Bella and his relationship with her was one of them. He was constantly torn between sinking his teeth into her throat and draining her, hugging her, and fucking her senseless. None of which would probably be welcome to her, except, of course, the middle.

Bella thought it over, flipping the sausages as she saw fit. "Maybe you need to find a happy medium. The other side of you, that bloodthirsty vampire, as you call it, your natural self, it's stronger now, it's fighting like hell to control you, to push away that decent guy. I can tell that you're fighting it right back. Maybe you need to let it have a little bit of control, not cage it up like you have been?" Honestly, she had no idea. It seemed, logical, though, to let it have a little bit of quarter if it was trying to take him fully.

Jasper bit at his lip lightly, thinking over her suggestion. It wasn't a bad suggestion. Hell, it was probably the best thing to do. However, what he was wondering was how exactly he was supposed to do that. "It's not as though I feel it coming on. It is sudden, like a switch being flipped. I don't know how I'm supposed to just control that." He growled in frustration.

Sighing quietly, Bella flipped her sausage onto a paper towel, patting out the grease before putting on her eggs, taking a bite of sausage and chewing, thinking over his words. "Well, then it has to be something we'll work on."

Before Jasper could respond, the front door opened, and in came Edward and Esme and Carlisle, the maternal vampire calling out Bella's name, but cutting off halfway through. Instantly, they were in the kitchen, and Bella glanced to Jasper, seeing that his guard has snapped back up, and he had distanced himself from Bella.

"Why the hell can't you just leave her alone?" Edward growled, rushing to Bella. He gripped her shoulders softly, tipping her head to either side, making sure she was all right. Grumbling, Bella pushed him away, folding her egg over, then putting it onto her plate.

"You're not the only one that wants those big doe eyes looking up at you while those soft, plump lips wrap around your cock. Not like I'm going to steal her away from you, bro. Ragin' lust. Can't ignore it."

A dark blush came to Bella's cheeks, and Edward growled at Jasper, shoving him up against the counter, his hand at his throat. Bella pressed her lips together, her eyes falling to the ground. Edward growling obscenities at Jasper, and Bella seemed to be incapable of speaking. Instead, she lightly tugged on Edward's arm.

"Come on," she said quietly. Edward growled at Jasper one last time before wrapping his arms tightly around Bella. She couldn't even look at Jasper, instead turning toward Carlisle and Esme. "Take him home," she requested.

Jasper was beating the shit out of himself on the inside. He had just gotten done telling Bella that he was being a dick, that she could trust him, and then he had gone and done that. He felt like complete shit. When Carlisle and Esme led him out of the house, he said nothing, and neither did they, his eyes dropped in shame. Their own shame was overwhelming.

Silently, Bella and Edward walked up to her room. Each time that Edward looked like he was going to speak, she would just shake her head. Once they were into her room, Bella quietly closed the door behind them, resting her back against the door, her eyes closing. Edward watched her worriedly, gently cupping her cheek, stroking his thumb against her cheekbone.

"Love," he said softly. He was still practically boiling with rage. He could not _believe _that Jasper had had the nerve to say something like that.

_Again_.

_..._

_In front of Carlisle and Esme._

Bella shook her head, keeping her eyes closed for a moment more. Fucking Jasper. She was really fucking confused, now; she had no idea which Jasper had said that. When the front door had opened, she had seen his guard shoot up, how he tensed, but when she had looked at him, she didn't see that darkness in his eyes that she saw when he was flipping to a darker Jasper. So everything was just confusing. Had he been lying to her the entire time, lying about the different because he wanted to fuck her? But he had seemed so _sincere_. But then again, he _was _a vampire. Bella had seen time and time again how cruel, how good of liars vampires could be. Her head was just going around in circles, and it was driving her crazy. She just had to get her mind off of it.

"Bella," Edward prompted, his tone stressed. She was really worrying him, now; it had been over five minutes since he'd requested her attention, and she was still just _standing _there, silent, unmoving.

With request of her attention with her name, Bella's eyes popped open, irritation burning in her eyes. With two steps, she was in front of him. Pressing a hand against his chest, she gave him a light shove. Letting her move him, he fell back onto the bed.

"Bella what are you-" He couldn't get out the rest of his question because he had pretty much choked on his tongue. Because Bella's fingers were at the buttons of his shirt. At first, she unbuttoned them all slow and lazy like before she finally decided that she had had enough, gripping at the center and pulling his shirt apart. "Bella," Edward growled, mostly in arousal, but also in worry, "What are you doing?"

"Shut up," Bella snapped in response, straddling him smoothly, her knees on either side of his hips. Tossing her hair to one side, she gave him a light kiss. "Be good and stay right here." Edward went to respond, but only managed to groan lowly as Bella's lips attached to his throat, sucking roughly. Her weak human teeth nipped at his neck, and he involuntarily thrust his hips up against hers. Bella moaned against his skin. Jesus Christ.

Hot, open-mouthed kisses were peppered down Edward's chest, Bella's tongue making lazy passes at the muscles that contracted under her mouth. Just about right. See, typically, Edward would have stopped her by now; he wouldn't have even gotten on the bed, but she'd never been this forward before. He was taken by surprise and now he was completely unable to stop her, even if he wanted to, which he certainly did not. It was selfish, he knew, letting her give him pleasure before he pleased her, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Because her fucking mouth, her fucking tongue was running along the defined bulge in his jeans.

"Bella, what are you doing?" He went to push her away, but she growled at him.

"I'm going to take off your fucking pants and I'm going to take your cock in my mouth and suck you off until you cum down my throat." It occurred to Edward that he should be disgusted by her vile words, but he could only feel himself getting harder at the words that tumbled from her lips. Goddammit. He groaned lowly, dropping his head back.

"Bella, you can't," he moaned, his hips thrusting up against her hand that palmed the bulge in his jeans. His request for her to stop was weak; he wanted nothing more than for her to keep going, to feel her hot mouth wrapped around his penis. ...er, _cock_, as she had called it.

"Oh, I can and I will."

"I don't know if I can control myself, Bella," Edward growled, his hands flattening against the bed, trying not to grip onto anything. He didn't need to break the bed, or worse, _her_.

Bella took up his hand, lightly running his thumb across her bottom lip. "I'm going to show you with your thumb what I'm going to do to your cock."

She had to guide him through this. Sure, she'd never done this before, but she'd done enough internet searching to pick up some tips. Lightly, she flicked her tongue over the tip of his thumb before taking a small amount of it into her mouth. She gave it a soft suck before pulling this thumb into her mouth, sucking softly. Edward could hardly think straight, let alone breathe. If her mouth felt that good around his thumb, he had no doubt that he wouldn't be able to handle her mouth on him. He could feel his control slipping way rapidly.

He couldn't do it. Within seconds, he had ripped himself from her grip and was hurtling himself out the window. Bella stumbled on the ground, having been knocked off balance by Edward's sudden leave. Goddammit. She slowly got to her feet, shaking slightly with anger. Her phone started making little pings, a signal that she had messages. Slowly, she walked over, her hands balling into fists. She wasn't angry at Edward, just at herself and Jasper. Fucking Jasper.

Fucking Jasper who had the nerve to text her.

_Darlin', please don't be mad._

_Darlin', that was the stupidest thing that I've said in my entire life._

_Darlin', please respond._

_Darlin', everything that I was saying before they got there was true._

_Darlin, for the love of ever fucking god, answer your fucking text messages._

_Darlin', are you mad because Edward won't give you what you want? He won't fuck that pretty little mouth of yours like I would, will he?_

_Shit, darlin', I'm sorry, that wasn't me talking._

_Goddammit, Isabella, answer your fucking phone._

Bella growled in frustration, tapping out an answer to his texts.

_Jasper shut the fuck up. I don't want to talk to you. And no, Edward won't fuck my 'pretty little mouth'. Even offered. Almost had his pants off and everything. Fucking left. Fucking your fault. I swear to God, if I see you again, I'll try my best to kill you._

In his room in the Cullen house, Jasper was pretty sure that his heart had been ripped out. He had no idea why it hurt so much, Bella saying those things, but it did. Fucking terribly.

_Darlin', I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. That was the stupidest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I wasn't lying when I was at your house. I just can't control when my personality flips. Please, Bella, don't be mad at me._

Bella glared at her phone as the message came up.

_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_Your apology is sweet,_

_But you're a fucking douchebag._

_So leave me the hell alone._

Bella snorted in amusement to her shitty poem. The sting of rejection was fresh, like a slap in the face, and Jasper and her confusion with him wasn't helping anything. She didn't know what to believe, and she was _cold_ and she was _exhausted, _but she knew she wouldn't sleep, not with her mind being so to the left side of her room, Bella shut off her phone, closing the window, locking it, then pulling the curtains. She laid on the bed, closing her eyes, her arms resting behind her head, settling in for another sleepless night.

**There ain't no in-between the two sides of me.**

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long, guys. It's been a long two weeks, real hectic and such, so I hope that I've made up for it with a superlong chapter. Um, I hope that you like it. I don't really have much to say at the moment.**

**But I did delete the blog, instead deciding on just posting the faces that correspond with characters on my profile, which is currently there for this story. I've been asked a few times if I'm going to be rewriting or continuing my other stories. The answer is maybe. I do quite like my other stories, but I do have original fiction that I'm attending to as well as this and trying to juggle life in itself, so that's a thing.**

**But, I apologize for being so late, and I hope you all liked this chapter. :3**

**Suggestions are, as always, welcome.**

**-Claire**


	4. Me and You

**Well, I'm back in your good graces again.**

**You've gotta be kind to yourself.**

**So many things that we'd like to have,**

**but we just cannot hold.**

**You've gotta be kind to yourself.**

_Me and You - She and Him_

**. . .**

Weeks slid by like years as the end of school approached. Unlike like all her friends who were celebrating their remaining moments of high school, Bella found herself more often than not cooped up inside the Cullen house, mostly with Alice and Edward. For them, senior year was just another event, and they found her wishes to go to parties and sign yearbooks trivial.

Even Edward, who had once dogged her endlessly to have each and every human experience possible before she was changed, had changed his tune in favor of keeping her inside. Speaking of, Edward had come back a few days after their almost-oral-sexcapade and they'd been at an awkward place ever since. Bella tried to ignore him and let Alice do as she pleased while she read whatever book struck her fancy. Mostly, it was books that Carlisle had supplied her with out of sympathy. Good man, Carlisle was.

Despite all her time at the Cullen house, Bella saw very little of Jasper, and heard even less from him. A few texts here and there, a few flashes of blond and jeans while he slipped back into his study after hunting. Evidently, he had been doing very well with getting accustomed to the "vegetarian" diet once again.

Despite her anger toward Jasper after her and Edward's awkward almost-sexual encounter, she couldn't help but want to hang around the blonde empath. Although their time together either left her hot and bothered or confused and hurt, she couldn't deny that she wanted to see him again. Unfortunately, her poetic good riddance had done the trick, and now she was too proud to go to him.

A quiet sigh escaped her lips, and Bella opened her eyes, finally feeling the brushes still from coating makeup on her face. Finally. She felt like she was ten pounds heavier.

"Bella, why are you in such a foul mood? I't's graduation!" Alice exclaimed, hugging her friend tight around the shoulders.

Bella opted not to say anything, but rather to examine her face in the mirror. Gone were the dark circles under her chocolate eyes, flawless, pale skin taking it's place. The light acne scars from her times as a pizza-and-brace-face were gone, smoothed out by the makeup, and her already long, dark lashes were coated with mascara, which only made them feel kind of heavy and stiff. (But admittedly, they were a bit more defined, now, with the darker color.) Alice had highlighted the largeness of her eyes with a pale, shimmery shadow on her lids that faded out into a dark purple color, and a light coat of eyeliner across her waterline. As much as Bella hated to admit it, she _did _actually look somewhat pretty, even with the strange feeling that she was ten pounds heavier. Alice beamed as she saw the approval on Bella's face.

"I told you," she scolded her friend, lightly taking the clips out of Bella's dark hair, letting the hot roller slide out, the easy curl falling onto her shoulders, "you just have to trust me."

Bella rolled her eyes lightly, watching as her hair was pulled out of the rollers, the perfection of the curls kind of unnerving. She was not one for perfectly coiffed hair; she much preferred a messier look, but she'd have to deal. The second she protested, Alice would rip her head off. Seemed to Bella that the only time Alice was even close to nice was when she was happy or doing what she wanted. Irritating little pixie. Much to Bella's relief, Alice brought out a brush and ran it through the tight curls, loosening them a bit, giving them a more natural look. Bella winced slightly; Alice was not one for being gentle.

"There," Alice announced, clapping her hands together with a wide smile. Bella glanced up to study herself again but flicked her eyes back down to her book. "Book up." The book was stolen from her hands, and Alice's hands were prodding at the robe Bella had on.

Clutching the robe to herself, Bella shook her head. "Just give it to me," she said with a frown, holding the robe to her with one hand and offering out the other.

Glaring impatiently, Alice handed her a small stack of clothes then huffed and went off to help Rosalie who had called for her. Pressing her lips together, Bella got to her feet and slipped the robe off after closing - and locking, though that wouldn't do much if Alice _really _wanted in - the bathroom door.

Turning her back to the mirrors of the room, Bella slid the panties - which were pretty much a glorified scrap of lace - up her thighs and clasped the bra into place. Bella honestly had no idea why Alice gave her such proactive undergarments. It wasn't like anyone was going to see them. Irritating little pixie.

As she pulled on the simple, long sleeved dress, then glanced up finally at the mirror. It hugged her frame carefully, yet was loose enough to hide the flaws on her body. Bella breathed out a sigh of relief, overjoyed that she had not been given some skin-tight, barely-there dress. You really never knew with Alice. Stepping out of the bathroom, she gave the waiting vampire a small twirl. With a squeal and a clap of her hands, Alice bounced over and kissed Bella's cheek.

"You look lovely. Come on, let's go get some pictures."

Bella's features transformed into a grimace. "Pictures?" she asked weakly as she was being pulled down the stairs.

At the bottom, Edward waited, looking quite dapper in a simple button down and slacks. A broad smile broke across his face as he saw Bella, taking her from his sister's arms and pulling her in for a hug.

"You're gorgeous," he murmured into her ear.

Embarrassment sent heat flooding to her cheeks and she pulled back slightly, running her fingers through her dark hair. "Sure, sure. Let's just get these pictures done with, yeah?"

Chuckling quietly, Edward kissed the top of her head, wheeling her with a guiding hand on her elbow, toward the living room, walking in with her. As they entered the living room, Alice handed her a pair of red flats and her silver gown.

"Bless you, evil spawn," Bella said gratefully, earning a chuckle from the room.. She dropped the shoes and carefully wedged her feet in, effectively completing the look.

"Have I told you how much I love that color on you?" Edward murmured into her ear as he turned them to Esme, who was holding a camera. Carlisle was standing behind her, grinning as he watched his son, his first companion, interact with his mate.

"Not in the last day and a half," Bella teased. She'd worn his favorite shirt - and one Alice, surprisingly approved of - in the midnight blue color just the other day. He had told her she looked stunning.

"Much too long."

"Oh, shut up already," Emmett complained loudly.

All eyes turned to him, and he shrunk back. "Well, I mean, whenever you're ready and shit," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his head as he retreated off to Rosalie who was looking stunning as ever in a blood red dress and towering black heels.

Slipping on her gown, Bella didn't feel so gorgeous anymore. It wasn't the ill-fitting gown, though, and it wasn't Rosalie. It was just everything. Nothing brought a teenage girl's self esteem down quicker than being in a house full of vampires who were all dolled up. Fantastic. Clearing her throat, she looked up and flashed a broad smile to the camera, leaning closer to Edward.

For a while, she went around the room, taking pictures with all the family members. Except, of course, Rosalie, and to Bella's disappointment, Jasper. Damn, she had really fucked up, hand't she? He'd never been anything but nice to her - with the exception of his sexual innuendo and the fact that he wanted to rip out her throat - and she'd gone and crushed him when he needed help. Fantastic.

**. . .**

Bella wanted to put a bullet in her brain. Literally. Sitting in the uncomfortable, plastic chair in the freezing cold while people jawed endlessly up onstage was not part of her idealistic high school graduation. The first speech by Angela had been inspirational and _not_ cliched. It all went downhill from there. Cliches were being spouted off left and right, and Bella couldn't tell one speech from the other.

"Aaron Anders with high honors."

Bella perked. They'd _finally _gotten to calling out names. _Finally_. Anxiously, her leg began bouncing, and she looked about. She knew that she would never see these people again. Somehow, even through all the troubles with Edward leaving - and her subsequent zombie state - and being her awkward self, she had developed kinship with some of these people, and she was sad to see them go. Well, she was going. The majority of them - that she cared enough about to ask, at least - were staying in Forks, or at the very least, in Washington.

"Alice Cullen with highest honor. Edward Cullen with highest honor."

Nervously, Bella smoothed her hands over the slick silver of her gown. She got up with her row, taking deep, even breaths. This was nothing, really; she knew all of these people. All of them had known her since she was a little thing. This shouldn't be freaking her out. But it was. Taking a deep, even breath, Bella straightened, nerves dancing in her stomach.

"Bella Swan with highest honor."

Quickly, Bella made her way up the stairs, then across the makeshift stage, gripping the principal's hand and shaking it firmly before turning with him and smiling at the camera. Her eyes, though, didn't stay on the camera. A crop of wavy blonde hair caught her eye, and pulled her attention. Jasper was huddling back against the main doors to the gym, smiling proudly at her. She realized that she had been standing there too long a heartbeat too late.

She quickly made her way off stage, back to her seat, a deep red blush - rivaling the color of the boys' gowns - on her cheeks. The rest of the ceremony went by thankfully without too much trouble. And then the caps went up. Bella tossed hers up a moment too late, but she hoped that it went unnoticed.

A soft gasp came from her lips as Edward and Alice suddenly appeared in front of her. Edward leaned down and picked up her discarded cap, folding it carefully flat, offering out a hand for his tassel. A small smile tugged at Bella's lips and she handed it to him, watching him curiously as he reattached it, then handed it to Alice who had both hers and Edward's under her arm. Arching a brow, Bella looked between them.

Before she had a chance to ask, Edward slid his arm around her waist, tugging her close as they headed out of the gym. "We keep all our graduation caps. We're starting your collection with this one. That's a huge thing. None of us have any kind of memorabilia from our human high school graduation. This one will always be the most special." With a smile, he kissed her forehead, pulling her closer.

"Oh," Bella said simply, smiling lightly. At least he was hinting that she was indeed going to be going to high school a few more times. Haha! Bella wins.

"Come on, Alice says that she has to make you over again for the party."

Bella looked up to him, mortified. "Party?" she repeated flatly, turning slowly to look up to him.

Edward flashed her a grin and kissed her cheek before loping off after the rest of his family. Alice came up and took his place, looping their arms softly, grinning toothily up at Bella.

"Yes, party. The whole school's invited."

Bella blanched. God, she hated parties. Loathed them. And now the whole school was invited? Dear God. Sighing resignedly, Bella nodded, letting the pint-sized vampire lead her out of the gym, all the while, her deep brown eyes searching for the vampire that had been at the back of the gym while she was receiving her diploma. A tiny bit of hope sparked in her stomach, blooming unabashedly. Maybe she _hadn't _offended him too much. Maybe he wasn't mad. Maybe he didn't think that she was a raging bitch. God, she hoped so. Biting her lip, excitement bubbled in her stomach.

Hopefully, he would be at the party tonight, and she could apologize. It seemed much less intimidating, now, that she had seen him smiling and happy, not dark and growling or sexual. God, she hoped all would be well with them; she really _did _want to help Jasper. It was just _so _difficult. She never knew what to believe and what not to. Pushing her thoughts aside, she let herself relax into the smooth leather of Alice's Porche, knowing that any kind of rest or relaxation that she got now would be all she would be getting for the entire day, maybe two, depending.

**x x x**

Oddly-colored lights flashed across the cool tones of the Cullen house. Bella's head throbbed along with the heavy beat of the song that played loudly through the speakers. Only few people around her danced; Bella had found a small niche where the music was not too loud, the lights not too seizure-inducing, not too many people dancing around her. Still, though, she was still uncomfortable, a light sheen of sweat developing across her skin. She had to get out of there. Carefully, she weaved through the people, giving quiet greetings and short smalltalk, trying her best to get fully out of the house.

Finally, she found solace in the backyard. Slowly, she took in a deep breath, tipping her head up to the sky. Her fingers played nervously with the edges of her dress. Although her dress for graduation had not been revealing, this new dress certainly was. Short with a dipping neckline, it was a lovely emerald green color, a similar tone to the blue dress from earlier. The only positive, though, was that it was lightweight and allowed her to cool quickly. WIth the gently blowing, cool wind, her skin dried, and her lungs took in fresh air. Finally.

"I love that color on you, darlin'," came a lazy southern drawl from behind her.

A shocked gasp pulled through Bella's lips as her eyes snapped open and she whipped toward the voice. Unable to help herself, a broad smile broke across her face. "Jasper!" she exclaimed. He _was_ there. Good. Not inside - not that she blamed him - but there all the same.

Jasper grinned in turn, taking a few lazy moments to come to stand by her. "Most people prefer blue on you and people with that strawberries-and-cream skin that you've got.-" A small blush rose to Bella's cheeks. "but I just love that color on you. It brings out the green in your eyes."

Arching a brow, Bella turned her eyes up to him. He was just full of surprises. He wasn't throwing sexual references to her, growling or purring, taunting her, or being a complete dick. She was going to get whiplash if he continued this.

"My eyes aren't green, Jasper," Bella countered, looking up at him under her furrowed eyebrows.

"I know that, Bella." Jasper rolled his eyes, glancing down at her with a small smile. Maybe she wasn't as mad as he thought she was. He was nearly giddy with this realization. She wasn't yelling or bitching at him. Maybe all was well. 'But you have flecks of green. They're dark and hardly there, but it makes your eyes look absolutely gorgeous."

Bella's blush darkened slightly, and she pushed a lock of hair behind her ears, casting her eyes to the ground. "Thank you," she said, wiggling her towering heel into the mud. Alice would kill her for that, but she really had no problems with that.

Glancing down at her, Jasper smiled slyly before grimacing, just noticing the music from inside. It was worthy of making his ears bleed. Pulling out his iPod, he scrolled through his songs, trying to find one loud enough to overpower the music from inside. CSN?…Nah. Hall and Oates? Where the fuck did that one come from?

Shyly, he looked at the human next to him out of the corner of his eye. "Are you still mad at me."

A small laugh bubbled from Bella's lips at his question, and she glanced back up at him. "No," she said, shaking her head. "I wasn't mad at you, per se." She lowered her voice so that he could just hear her; it was almost as though she was mouthing the words. "Mostly Edward."

Jasper nodded in understanding. He knew well of the sexual frustration between Edward and Bella. It practically killed him. His beast - which he had caged up - snarled at the thought of Bella and Edward together. It wasn't a snarl of sexual nature, more of possession. For a moment, Jasper was taken aback. Why would _he_ feel _possessive_ of _Bella_? What the hell? His beast gave a dark chuckle, curling back up in his cage, letting Jasper stir over that for a while. His job had been done; he didn't even need to be let out to fuck with Jasper's mind. Clearing his throat - unnecessarily - he nodded again.

"I"m sorry that I fucked that up for you guys."

"We're fine," she said tightly.

Looking at her sideways, Jasper arched his brows. "Lies," he accused, the small sour taint to her emotional pallet giving her away.

"Cheater," she grumbled.

"Empath," he countered.

"Cheating all the same."

"You're just a sour puss."

"Was that supposed to be sexual?"

"Do you _want _it to be?"

Bella looked at him with a thoughtful expression, studying him. His eyes were clear, unclouded, and a bright gold color. Jasper was still in control, not his beast. She was not sure whether or not this was good. It meant that it was caged, and she was having a conversation with the _real _Jasper, but on the same note, it meant that his beast was planning an escape again, that he was a ticking time bomb again.

"Shut up," she grumbled, nudging his hip with her own.

"Ah ha!" Jasper exclaimed victoriously, settling finally on _Hitch a Ride _by Boston. Sliding the right bud into his ear, he offered her the left with a smile.

Hesitantly, Bella took it from him and slid it into her ear. Jasper watched her curiously, intently. It took her human brain a moment to process the sound, but as soon as it did, Bella lit up, a broad grin breaking across her face.

"You like Boston?" Jasper asked, incredulous. Or maybe he was impressed. Either way. He could not believe that Bella knew Boston, let alone liked them, which she obviously did by the grin on her face and she brightness in her eyes.

"God, who doesn't?" Bella bobbed her head lightly with the song, glancing to him with an arched brow.

"Edward. People your age."

"Edward doesn't like anything past the fifties. I don't know - or care - why. I was honestly curious, and we've tried to talk about it, but he always gets irritated and starts patronizing me, telling me that I'm young and I haven't '_fully developed my brain_.'" Her brows puckered softly, and a little growl came from her.

Chuckling, Jasper rolled his eyes. Stupid kid really knew how to turn a girl off. Before he could get too far on that thought path, he responded to her, "And he was turned at seventeen."

"One year difference, but _still_." Bella knew she was whining, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Edward was just so…._infuriating _sometimes. She just wanted to scream when she was around him. Always hovering, always…_there_.

"Cheer up, buttercup," Jasper coaxed, nudging her hip with his. Bella glanced up at him, and Jasper was elated with his reward of a smile.

"Are you going to pick a nickname for me anytime soon?"

Jasper gave her a dramatic look. "Darlin', you can't just ask me to _choose_." He groaned dramatically, tossing his head back, effectively ripping the earbud from Bella's ear.

"Heeeeey," she complained.

Chuckling his apology, Jasper gently tucked it into her ear. "There you are, sweets."

Bella shook her head, making a face. "My grandpa called me sweets."

Grimacing, Jasper nodded. "Right, right. Sorry, angel."

A small smile tugged at Bella's lips. She couldn't wait to hear all of his endearments. They just flowed off his tongue so easily. Unlike Edward's endearment of "love", Jasper's were not at all patronizing or forced. They were natural and affectionate, and Bella loved it.

"Hey, kitten?"

Glancing up, Bella offered a smile and an arch of her brows, a silent indicator for him to go on.

"We're good? Friends?"

"Yeah, Jasper. We're good. Friends." A smile tugged at Bella's lips and she turned her eyes back to the full moon. Absolutely gorgeous. Mind you, not as stunning as the harvest moon - which were her favorite - but pretty all the same.

A broad smile broke across Jasper's face, and he hesitantly offered out a hand to her. That's what friends did, right? "You know," he said, elated that her hand easily slid into his. God, her hand was so warm, so soft. He just wanted to cuddle her. Wait, what? HIs beast snickered in his cage, and Jasper internally growled at him. The beast grumbled and licked its lips, curling back into the cage as it cleaned itself, just biding its time. "You're my first friend."

Bella's eyes flickered up to him, surprise coloring her tone and face. "But Emmett and Rosalie…"

"More family."

"So, I'm your first friend?"

"Yes ma'am."

"I like that."

Jasper grinned down at her, studying her profile as she looked up at the moon, the stars, taking it all in. "Me too," he agreed.

They lapsed into an easy silence, still holding hands, watching the stars twinkle in the sky, both smiling as the song transitioned into _The Joker _by the Steve Miller Band, both starting to sway slightly, humming along with the song.

Inside Jasper, the beast snickered. This was just _too _damn _easy_. Opening its jowls, it yawned largely and settled back for a sleep. It would need its energy when it came back out again. It had big plans, _huge _plans, and they _would not _be thwarted.

* * *

**A/N: Hi, everyone. I'm so sorry that it's been a month. Finals were pretty brutal, and as soon as I got out of school, I went on vacation. I'm back, though, and free for the summer, so you'll be getting updates much quicker and more frequently.**

**I've been asked about my story, **Savin' Me,** if I was going to continue it, and I'm still pondering that. I can't really remember where I was going with it. I'll have to hunt through my documents, and maybe I'll start it up again.**

**I've recently deleted, too, my story, **_Head Games._** I don't know if any of you are interested in me starting that up again.**

**Either tell me in a reply or shoot me a PM. That would literally make my day. Thank you all so much.**

**xx**

**Claire**


	5. Long As I Can See the Light

**Oh, I'm gone, gone**

**I'll be comin' home soon**

**Long as I can see the light**

**Pack my bag and let's get movin'.**

_Long As I Can See the Light - CCR_

**. . .**

Just as Bella was easing the zipper of her last suitcase closed carefully around the clothes threatening to burst out, a knock came from the door. Charlie peeked his head in, clearing his throat quietly to grab her attention. Bella bit at her bottom lip, her eyes closing for a moment. _God, she did not want to do this. _She was not a person for outwardly or obviously emotional moments, and neither was Charlie, so this was going to be extremely awkward.

She was not looking forward to it in the least. Putting on a smile, she turned back to Charlie, pushing a lock of her newly-dyed hair behind her ear. Alice had insisted that before Bella went off to college, she must have both a new hairstyle and a new closet, hence the three suitcases that laid all about her room. (Two more awaited at the Cullen house.)

"I like your hair dark like that," Charlie commented, leaning against the doorframe, studying his daughter. His baby girl. She had become even more beautiful that he could have ever imagined. He was proud as he could be; he was practically bursting with it. Although he regretting not being as involved as he hated wanted, he still loved her with everything he had. She was going to _college_. She was all grown up, and she was leaving, for good this time.

"Oh," Bella said softly, biting at her bottom lip, examining the nearly-black lock of hair that she twisted lightly around her finger. "Thank you."

"Never knew you had my hair."

A warm smile curved onto Bella's lips, her eyes brightening a bit. He noticed, too? "Me neither. I've always kept it kind of boring, just a blunt cut, but I added a bit of shape to it, layers, y'know, and a bit of a trim. Evidently, because of the length and lack of variety, it just kind of weighed it down, turned it flat. I like it a lot." Of course, Bella knew that all probably went over his head, but small talk, talk of nothing of consequence, was good. It was safe and emotionless.

As expected, most of that went unregistered to Charlie's male brain, but he still smiled, nodding a bit. "Looks good."

"Thanks."

Pressing her lips together, Bella looked to the floor, at her converse-clad feet. She was just glad that Alice had actually gotten her some plain shoes, and that they _weren't _sparkly or pink, just a simple black, much to her relief. For a while, she and Charlie stood in silence; she could feel his eyes on her, but she never moved hers from her feet.

"Promise me you'll call?" Charlie asked, his voice gruff, quiet.

Bella winced slightly. This is what she'd been worried about. Emotional questions. "Yeah, Dad, I promise." It would probably be the only way she'd be able to contact him once she'd changed.

"I'm real proud of you Bella," Charlie said, his voice quiet, gruff.

Biting her lip, Bella looked up at him shyly. "Thank you," she said softly before looking back to the ground.

"Gonna miss you."

Bella glanced up at him, her cheeks reddening softly with embarrassment. "I'll miss you, too, Dad."

Charlie smiled broadly, pleased with her affirmation. "You're beautiful, you know. You look so much like your mom."

Pushing a lock of hair away from her eyes, she smiled a bit. "I think I look more like you."

A broad smile pushed across Charlie's face, his eyes crinkling at the edges, happiness sparkling in his eyes. It was the most emotion that Bella had seen him display. Kicking the ground lightly, he took a look around the room, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Well, I'll let you finish packing."

"Just finished actually." Awkwardly, she pushed her own hands into her pockets, clearing her throat quietly.

"All right!" trilled a familiar soprano voice..

Both Charlie and Bella relaxed as Alice bounced happily into the room, glad to be relieved of the awkward pressure of a goodbye. Emmett ambled in just behind her, leaning against the doorframe, watching Bella and Charlie curiously. Clapping her hands, Alice fluidly came to a stop, Bella's shiny silver camera in the hand she held up.

"Alice," Bella complained, "where did you get that?"

A dazzling smile broke across Alice's face, and she gestured for the father-daughter duo to stand together. Both grumbled incoherently as they squeezed in for a picture.

"Say cheese."

Bella glanced to Charlie, giving him an apologetic look; Charlie grinned back affectionately. Although he wasn't typically a man for pictures, this was different. Of course, he had a picture from Bella's birthday just under a year ago, but she had changed _so much_ since then. She was so _happy_ now, not a remnant of the zombie she had been when Cullen left. Alice stealthily snapped a picture.

"Come on!"

Two identical sets of chocolate eyes turned to the picture, broad smiles breaking across their faces. Happily, Alice snapped the picture.

"Happy?" Bella asked, arching a brow and putting a hand on her hip. Charlie glanced to his daughter and rolled his eyes. With one last snap of the shutter, the camera disappeared.

"Yes, actually."

Emmett stepped forward, grabbing two of Bella's suitcases. Before Bella - or Alice - could grab the next bag, Charlie took it up and headed downstairs after Emmett, his heart sinking with each step he took. He was saying goodbye to his baby girl. Even though she'd promised to stay in touch, isn't that what all kids said?

Hell, that was what _he _had said, but that hadn't gone as promised. Not at all. And hell, Charlie lived in the same town as his parents until they died. Not once did he go to dinner or hell, spend five minutes to call. He hoped desperately that as much as he and Bella were alike, that they would not be in that way. If so, though, he'd just badger her until she talked to him.

Sounded just about right.

Outside leaning on the hood of a silky black Porsche SUV - a Cayenne S, if Charlie recalled correctly - was Edward. Charlie regarded him with a nod and a cool expression. He still _really _didn't like that kid, not after what he did to Bella. God, if the smug prick had just _seen _her, he would have thought twice about being so indignant when it came to Charlie not accepting him. Ugh. Handing Emmett the lone suitcase he had, Charlie watched as it was loaded in with a few other things.

Bella skipped down the porch steps with a bright smile on her face, jogging over to Edward, who grinned back at her, sweeping her up into a kiss. She was taken aback by the intensity of it. Even before their awkward almost-sexual encounter, their kisses were close-lipped and short, nothing like the spine-tingling, passionate kiss he had just given her. Slightly dazed as she was put back on her feet, Bella blinked, a dumbfounded smile coming to her lips. Quickly, she regained herself, clearing her throat and smiling up at Edward, who had his signature crooked smile on.

"Well, that was a fantastic hello."

Edward laughed easily, his arms sliding around her waist, pulling her close. With a smile, he brought her in for another kiss, but before he could, an irritated Charlie was clearing his throat. Pouting, Bella pulled back, directing her petulance toward Charlie who just whistled and looked away, pretending as though it wasn't him. Stealthily, Bella leaned up and stole another kiss before walking to Charlie. Edward, Alice, and Emmett got into the car, all seeming to be preoccupied with things. Bella pretended that - as much as she wished it were true - they couldn't hear her. For all guises of privacy, they turned on the radio, and Emmett and Alice started obnoxiously singing along.

"Good luck, Bells," Charlie said, pulling his daughter abruptly to him in a bear hug. Tears pricked at his eyes, and his throat constricted, but he said nothing, hugging his daughter tighter.

With a laugh - trying not to show her emotions - Bella hugged back. "You're the one that needs the luck. Who's going to feed you now that I'm goin'?" She'd picked up a bit of Jasper's slang with all the time she'd been spending with him. Or rather, talking on the phone with him. Visits weren't permitted anymore. Damn idiots.

"I fed myself for seventeen years before you came, Bells, I'll be all right."

Arching a brow, she chuckled quietly, shaking her head. "I'll talk to Sue. She'll keep you fed."

Charlie laughed easily, tightening his arms around her before slowly releasing her. "Thanks, kid."

With a small smile, Bella took a step back, righting herself and looking up at Charlie. "See you, Dad," she said quietly, her voice breaking slightly.

Swiftly, she leaned up and kissed his cheek. Charlie gave her another hug and a smile before opening her car door for her. Bella slipped in the car, her fingers twining absently with Edward's, watching Charlie with a small frown between her brows, tears pricking at her eyes. And then the house was gone. It hit her square in the chest, in the heart.

"It's all right, Bella," Edward said, rubbing her knuckles softly.

"I know," Bella said simply, her eyes turning to stare out the windshield.

Sighing softly, Edward squeezed her hand, letting her brood in silence. He really didn't understand why she was so upset. She'd be seeing him soon enough. Humans. He'd never understand them, especially Bella. Suddenly, a sleek, black Mercedes pulled onto the road, following just behind them. Carlisle's car. Pulling out her phone, Bella shot a message to Jasper, pouting internally.

_Why the fuck are you not in the car with me?_

Bottom lip pushing out in a small pout, she studied the rearview mirror. Rosalie's car had joined the parade, along with Emmett's Jeep. Edward's Volvo was nowhere to be seen.

Raising a brow, Bella looked to Edward. "Where's your car?" she asked skeptically.

"They came out with this year's new models, and I like it, so I'm replacing it."

Bella nodded, mulling over the answer. It was strange, the thought of him having a new car. For as long as she'd known him - which albeit wasn't that long - he'd had that car. He was her "stupid, shiny Volvo owner". Stupidly, she hoped that his new car would be silver as well.

"And this one?" she asked, almost terrified to ask. With the Cullens, you never knew. It could be their long lost friend's or they could be holding it for a passerby.

"It's yours." Bella practically choked on her own spit. She looked at Edward with a bewildered, wide-eyed expression, silent. Hers? He was giving her _this _car? Seriously? _Why? _Her lips parted to question.

"Because," Alice piped, folding her arms against the back of Edward's seat, looking sideways at Bella, her cheek resting against her forearm, "when we're at college, you're going to want to do your own driving. If you get friends, you're not going to want to have to say, 'hey, guys, yeah, I'd like to go, but let me go ask my boyfriend if I can borrow the car'. No. That's embarrassing. Plus, we figured you'd want to drive alone for a while and you'd want a space that was your own."

Softening with her last explanation, Bella leaned over and gave Alice a kiss on the cheek. "Sweet pixie," she cooed. Alice gnashed her teeth at Bella's nose, earning her a light shriek followed by a quiet laugh. Bella's phone made a strange noise and vibrated, signaling a text. A picture of a Confederate flag accompanied the message symbol. Jasper. Stupid boy wouldn't let her take a picture of him, so she was stuck with putting up a Confederate flag in her contacts. Bastard was quite happy over that one. Ass. Tapping her message application open, Bella scanned the message.

_Um. Well, darlin', not in the state. But I'd be there if I could._

Frowning, Bella quickly shot a text back. _Why aren't you in the state then? Don't tell me you completely ditched me on this road trip and are leaving me with Edward and Alice. ):_

Not thirty seconds after it had been sent, her phone was buzzing again. _I'm sorry, kitten, but you'll live. I'm actually…taking a break from the Cullens to…find myself, figure out who I'm supposed to be._

A bit hurt, but amused all the same, Bella tapped out a reply. _Cliche, cliche, Jasper. (but may I say that I do love the nickname kitten?) Tell me what's really going on._

This time, the pause between messages was longer. A solid two minutes passed, Bella anxiously bouncing her leg, three pairs of golden eyes watching her as if she'd toss herself out the car at any moment. Finally, the reply blinked up on the screen.

_:D I'm glad you like it. But, seriously. Alice and I are having it rough, and I don't exactly feel welcome with the Cullens. Ever since my slip up, I've been on edge - you know that - and they can sense that. They don't need to be worrying about me while they're trying to treat you to a college experience. Plus, I have a few friends to catch up with._

Sighing, Bella pushed a lock of hair away from her eyes, smiling as Edward momentarily left the wheel unattended to tie it back into her typical messy bun. Leaning over, she gave his cheek a kiss, bumping her nose affectionately against his jaw before leaning back into her seat. She wrote back a reply.

_Just make sure to send me pictures. Or messages. I'll have your balls if you don't keep in contact with me. I need *someone* to keep me sane. _

Instantly, the reply came. _Of course, kitten._

_Settling on that one, are you? _A smile curved at Bella's lips as she waited for her response, and Edward seethed with jealousy. He had no idea what his girlfriend and his pseudo-brother were talking about, but he'd never seen her smile so easily, without force, without tightness in her eyes. It infuriated him to no end.

_Not sure, yet, darlin'._

_Fickle_, she responded with a smirk.

_False. I'm just biding my time. Keeping you on edge. Okay, maybe a little bit fickle. Trying to find something that suits you, though. Really leaning toward kitten._

Bella bit back a smile. _I've got time._

_Good._

With that, Bella tapped her phone into lock mode and tossed it into the cubby in her door. Satisfied that she could finally sleep, she relaxed back into the comfortable leather seat, her eyes closing slowly. This would certainly be…interesting. A road trip cross-country to make it to Dartmouth. _Yay_. That was sarcasm. Bella really wasn't looking forward to it. Stupid vampires.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so I've had some troubles over the past few days. My hard drive completely died, and I lost all of my work. Being the ever-so-responsible person I am, I hadn't backed up on my external hard drive in about a year, so I lost a LOT of work. Between trying to figure out what I need to rewrite and this fanfic (and the upcoming one, which should be posted tomorrow.) it's been kind of hectic. **

**This is a shitty chapter, I realize that. I kind of had writer's block, but A: i HAD to use this song and B: I wanted to do a road trip. Since Jasper's not going to be in it, I'm not really going to go in depth with the road trip, but no worries, you'll be seeing jasper soon enough. **

**Until next time, **

**Claire**


	6. Lookin' for a Reason

**I'm lookin' for a reason to stay**

**I'm all wound up and tired enough today**

**I'm lookin' for a reason not to go**

_Lookin' for a Reason / CCR_

**. . .**

_**August 2007**_

As Bella pushed a lock of hair back from her eyes, a flash in the mirror caught her eye. Freezing her hand, she examined the pretty ring that sat on her left ring finger. It was obviously old, the silver slightly tarnished, but the diamonds shone bright. Her smile widened as a pair of cold arms slid around her waist, and Edward's head propped on her shoulder, smiling at her in the mirror. Turning her head slightly, Bella pressed a kiss to his cheek, a smile tugging at her lips.

"You're gorgeous," Edward murmured, spinning her about softly. He gripped her waist and placed her atop the counter.

Slowly, his fingers trailed across her cheekbones, taking in the ever so soft flesh of her cheeks, absolutely thrilled with the way it warmed, pinked up under his touch. Then, he made the descent down her neck, and she let her head tip back, baring her throat to him. Growling in the back of his throat, Edward ran his nose down her neck, his tongue running along the throbbing vein in her neck. Bella shivered, letting out a small gasp. Before she was even realizing it, she was drawing a parallel between when Edward's current movements and the thing Jasper had done those few months ago.

With his signature crooked smile, Edward pulled her in for a kiss, desperate for her taste on his tongue. Of course, he'd rather have her on the bed, writhing under his tongue, but they had to leave for class in a few minutes. Not that he probably couldn't make her fall apart in that amount of time.

…And he had just convinced himself. Screw his idea to wait until marriage. He had to have her, see her orgasm, hear her moan his name. His hands skimmed down her sides to her hips, then began to make their descent back up, pulling her shirt with them. Before the shirt could get to her ribs, a chirping noise came from their side. Though Bella pulled back, Edward simply moved his lips to her neck, sucking at her skin, earning quiet whimpers from her. Finally, her eyes had focused on the message on her phone.

A picture of Jasper laid next to the text. _Howdy, kitten._

Bella lit up, reaching her arms around Edward's neck to respond. _Howdy yourself, cowboy. Long time no talk. How's the soul searching?_

Irritated, Edward pulled away from her collarbones where he had been laying open-mouthed kisses, frowning at Bella. His eyes caught sight of a flash of blonde next to a message before Bella flicked the phone's screen off.

"Bella," he sighed, taking a step back. He leaned against the wall behind him, rubbing his hands over his face. His mouth had been on her neck, playing at all the right places and Jasper took precedence. How? How?

"Yeah?" she asked, chewing at her slightly kiss swollen bottom lip. Edward couldn't help the pang of lust that coursed through him at the sight, but at the moment, his anger was dominant.

"Why is Jasper more important to you than me?"

Taken aback, Bella stared at him for a few moments, trying to process what he'd asked. "I don't know what you mean," she said slowly.

"You _don't know what I mean_?" he asked incredulously, narrowing his eyes at her. "We were being _intimate_-" Had he not been so angry and she so confused, Bella would have burst out laughing. Intimate. His mouth on her neck was _so _being _intimate_. God. "-and you completely blew me off for my brother who, if you do remember, has tried to kill you. And toyed with the idea more times than you could fathom."

Bella rose her brows at him, pressing her lips together. Slightly, her eyes narrowed, and she sighed, her fingers pushing through her messy, wavy locks. "Okay. I'm sorry. He hadn't contacted me in a while, and I figured that I shouldn't just ignore him. You never know what could have-"

"Why do you _care_? That's my question." As gently as he could, Edward gripped her upper arms, looking desperately into her eyes. "My brother is not a good person. He's dangerous and volatile, and you know his feelings toward you. If that's what you could even call them. He wants to kill you, Bella. And moreo-"

With a frown, Bella cut him off. "And so do you. I'm your singer or whatever. You obviously want to kill me, too, and so does your family. With the exception of Carlisle."

Edward flinched, but shook his head, not to be deterred by her protests. "And moreover, you know what _other _things he wants to do to you."

He gave Bella a look, and her shiver was a confirmation. He took the shiver of one of fear, but the emotion that trilled down her spine was anything but. More delight than anything else. Because Jasper wanted to _fuck her pretty little mouth_. He'd said so quite a few times. Oddly, Bella found no disgust in that admission. Actually, it turned her on quite a bit. Before she could let herself go down that path and let Edward in on her secret, she cleared her throat and looked up at him.

"Bella, staying away from him is the safest thing to do." To emphasize his statement, he gave her upper arms a squeeze.

"Kay," she said in a noncommittal tone.

**Every night I ask myself again.**

**'Cause what it was that made my dream begin?**

**x x x**

_**October 2007**_

Edward paced angrily near the entrance of the door, his hands balled into fists at his sides. It was two in the morning and she still wasn't back. Unacceptable. The sound of a car driving up caught his attention, and he froze, staring out the front window a sleek, black car came to a stop. Instead of Bella's familiar form in the front seat, Edward caught sight of a tall, well-built man with dark hair. Bella was in the passenger seat. Carefully, Edward watched as she leaned over and kissed the boy on the cheek. Anger surged through him, but he stayed impassive as he leaned against the wall beside the front door.

Bella walked in, her hair thrown into a messy ponytail. Edward stayed silent, waiting for her to realize that he was there. Which, in a few moments, she did. With a sharp gasp, Bella stumbled back a few steps, her hand flying to her chest; her heart hammered against her ribs. Closing her eyes and hanging her head slightly, Bella shook her head, her heart rate slowing down slightly.

"Jesus," she swore, pushing a stray lock of hair away from her face, "why are you just standing there like that?"

"Who was that?" Edward asked frigidly.

"Matt. He's a friend of mine." With a small frown, she walked past her boyfriend who was acting stranger than usual, gently placing her bag that contained her laptop onto the kitchen table.

"Why the hell are you coming home at two a.m?" He was absolutely livid. Two in the morning on a _Friday_ and coming home with a _man_. He had no idea what she had been doing.

"I was helping Matt with his algebra. His sister Anna and I got on well." Bella's frown deepened, but she gave Esme, who was waiting in the kitchen, a smile and a brief hug.

"I'm sure," Edward responded skeptically.

A quiet sigh came from Bella, and she poked through the fridge, finally coming out with a half-gallon of milk. Esme handed her a cup, and Bella took it with a smile. She had decided that she would just ignore Edward. It seemed like the best thing to do. If she ignored him, they couldn't argue. Pouring the glass half-full of milk, Bella walked to the pantry, unzipping her jacket.

God, she was starving. Absolutely ravenous. As she looked through the contents, she popped off her shoes, nudging them into a corner. Although she knew that when she needed to wear them again, she wouldn't be able to find them, she couldn't bring herself to care.

"What did you work on?" Edward pressed.

"Why do you care?" Bella asked as she walked out of the pantry - literally her favorite part of the new house in Hanover - and frowned over at him.

"Because he brought you home in _his car _at _two in the morning_." How did she not understand? He was her fiancé; they were getting married. She couldn't just be out at two in the morning with another guy.

"And Anna was in the back seat. We weren't really sure what time it was. I fell asleep on the couch."

"You _fell asleep?_" Edward growled. "I'm sure you '_fell asleep_'."

Before things could get too far, Esme stepped between a furious Edward and a confused and hurt Bella.

"Enough," Esme growled.

Taking a step back, Bella retreated upstairs, sans milk. She had no idea what was happening with Edward. He was freaking out over literally nothing and had been for some while now. Holing herself up in bed, she pulled out her phone.

Pulling up Jasper's number, she sent him a quick message. _If I asked nicely, would you come to Hanover? _

Nearly instantly, there was a reply. _Hi to you, too, kitten. Wait, why are you even up? And maybe…if you begged. You'd have to be really convincing. _

Mood instantly uplifted, Bella ventured out of bed, walking to her closet as she responded, _I went over to a friend's dorm to help him with some math. I like his sister, so I stayed a bit longer. Edward freaked the absolute fuck out. So, irritated. I might just beg. Going insane._

The next response came with a bit of a delay, and Bella changed for bed. While she was washing her face, the next message came. Drying off her hands, her face white with soap. _I'd say punch him but you might break yourself and you need those lovely hands for something. _

Chuckling quietly, Bella rinsed off her face, feeling fully refreshed. _And what would those things need to be? _

As much as she hated to admit it, Bella was eager to read his answer. When her phone chirped, she nearly dropped her phone in her haste to pick it up and read it. _Use your imagination, kitten._

A small shudder rolled down her spine, and she bit at her lip. As much as she hated to admit it, the endless possibilities absolutely thrilled her. God, what was wrong with her? She was engaged, getting _married _to the man that she adored. Of course, though, love had nothing to do with her liking to Jasper's racy texts. It was just the fact that she was so sexually frustrated that she was sure she was going to burst. She left Jasper's last message unanswered as she tucked herself in for bed, relieved when Edward didn't join her.

**It seemed like a good idea way back then.**

**Well, I'm wondering now what daydream took me in.**

**x x x**

_**January 2008**_

Although Bella knew that a new year for the Cullens was a trivial thing - they'd all been around for upwards of seventy years, seen that many new years - but Bella couldn't help but be touched by their gesture. Party hats, food, watching the dropping of the ball, the whole bit. It was all something that Bella had never done, but it was an experience all the same that she quite enjoyed.

"Happy new year!" came a cheer from the television and the crowd around alike.

Not but a second after the 12:00:00 appeared on screen, a text message blipped up on Bella's phone. While she accepted a kiss from Edward, Bella looked down at the phone. It was a picture of Jasper, looking like a grumpy child with a party hat on and a noisemaker in his mouth. Bella let out a bright laugh, turning on the camera on her phone and turning it toward herself. Eyes bright and a grin in place, she snapped a picture. Edward seethed silently, glaring over at her as she sent the message.

Before anything could erupt as it had been for the past few months, Esme came up next to Bella. "Mind if we take a picture together?" the motherly vampire asked her human daughter with a smile.

Eyes flickering first to Edward, who was visibly angry, then back to Esme, flashing her a broad smile. "Sure." Turning the camera back to them, she flashed a smile, quickly taking the picture. "I'll put this as your picture on my phone." Quickly, she did so before showing it to Esme with a smile.

"It's lovely," Esme reassured, pressing a kiss to Bella's forehead before heading off to talk with Carlisle quietly.

Pointedly ignoring Edward, Bella walked to the table with food. All of Bella's favorites were there; all day, Esme and she had been baking up sweets. Cookies, cupcakes, cinnamon buns, brownies. Bella took great joy in covering Esme from head to toe in various ingredients, and Esme the same. There was still chocolate in both women's hair, but neither one cared a bit.

Soon, Bella's phone went off. Stuffing a cookie into her mouth, she read it while she chewed, smiling at Jasper's comment.

_You work the hat much better than I do._

Attempting to balance a cupcake and text at the same time, Bella responded with a bit of difficulty and got icing on the screen of her phone. _I could have told you that and saved you the effort of putting on the hat._

Licking the icing off the top of her cupcake, Bella looked up at Emmett who came to lean against the table. "You really made a dent in this food, kid," he said, looking impressed.

A blush coming to her cheeks, Bella shrugged a bit. "Yeah. I know. It's just so amazing."

"Do you have a hollow leg?"

"Or three," Bella responded with an impish smile, taking a bite of her cupcake.

Mussing her hair, Emmett studied her phone as it went off. "Jasper?" he assumed.

Unashamed, Bella nodded, her eyes flickering to the phone. _Yeah, but I lost a bet. Charlotte made me wear it._

Bella responded with a simple: _Who's Charlotte? _

"You guys text a lot," Emmett observed, picking up a cookie from a platter. He tossed it back and forth in his hands, his eyes on his human. Yes. _His. _His sister, his human. He'd kill the asshole who tried to hurt her. It had taken practically the entire family to hold him back when he had found out that Edward had left Bella in the woods. Fucking woods. The girl was tiny and clumsy as fuck. How could she have expected to get back to her house? Even just thinking about it, Emmett was growing angry.

"Yes," Bella agreed slowly, unsure what he was getting at. She was painfully aware of Edward's shrewd stare on her.

"Good."

Bella's head snapped up, surprised, her chewing pausing for the time being. "Good?" she questioned through a mouthful of food.

Chuckling, Emmett nodded. "Yeah. Jasper's never had a friend before. He can be a bit of an asshole sometimes, but overall, he's a really good guy."

Brightening, Bella swallowed, nodding her head. "I'm glad someone else sees that."

Clapping a hand - which, in size, was more like a paw, Bella observed - on her shoulder, Emmett nodded, smiling at her. There was something in his eyes, though, and Bella frowned a bit. He seemed a bit troubled. Emmett was never troubled. Ever. Volturi? _Italian freaks._ James and his friends? _Let them come. _Never troubled, so why did he appear to be now. As quick as she picked it up, it was gone, and Rose was coming over to speak with him, murmuring quietly in his ear, seeming a bit irritated.

Politely averting her eyes, Bella turned them to her phone, trying to ignore the feeling that Rosalie and Emmett were talking about her. A message came, and she opened her messages from Jasper, tipping her head to the side as she saw a pretty blonde vampire with ruby red eyes smiling at the camera. The caption was simple: _Hi, I'm Charlotte._

A small smile tugged at her lips and Bella quickly sent back a response. _Bella. Lovely to…meet you? I guess that's the right phrase? Or nice to see your face? I don't know. _She couldn't get anymore awkward.

The reply came in a few moments; Bella could feel Rosalie's harsh gaze on her. _You're cute. Jasper says you'd be fun to eat. Come visit sometime. _

Tipping her head to the side, she studied the message. Strange, but in a weird way, it was kind of cute. Now she wanted to know Charlotte; she seemed like a person Bella would get along with.

_Promise,_ Bella responded.

And she was serious. She _did _want to meet Charlotte. It seemed she wouldn't be gentle with her, treat her like she was glass, even in conversation. Bella was eager to properly meet her. Of course, though, she'd have to talk with Edward, and with how he was acting lately, she was unsure if he would agree. Fuck that. If she wanted to go, she would.

She knew, though, that although she could think in a badass manner, it would not be the case when she actually had to confront Edward. Which, in reality, she shouldn't have to _confront_ her fiancé about anything, ask his permission to go and see someone. Goddamn. It occurred to her that she was becoming increasingly less interested and happy in her relationship. A deep frown turned at her lips at the realization. Why? Before she could think more on the subject, Alice had pulled her attention, and Bella headed over to the pixie, still slightly troubled.

**Yesterday I tried once more to find ****the way to share the trouble on my mind.**

**x x x**

**_March 2008_**

The door closed, and Bella's eyes shot open. Keeping herself still, her breathing still deep, she listened for a while. The front door closed. Carefully, holding the sheets to her, she got to her feet, creeping to the window. A blur matching the colors Edward was wearing was zipping quickly out into the forest.

Pushing her messy hair back from her face, Bella pulled the sheet closer to her, walking into the bathroom. She was sore and sticky with sweat; she felt absolutely disgusting. And completely unsatisfied. Turning on the shower, she dropped the sheets, examining herself in the full length mirror. All over her body, but particularly centered around her hips, ribs, and upper arms, there were red splotches that throbbed painfully that were bound to bruise. Fantastic.

Stepping into the shower, she set at scrubbing the thin layer of sweat from her body. It took her a while before she was sufficiently clean, and she leaned her head fully under the spray, letting it run over her face. She stayed there, holding her breath, until she couldn't take it anymore and she took a step back, gasping slightly for air.

As she finally got out of the shower, Bella thought back on the school year that was winding to a close. Things with Edward had not been good at all. He'd been more overprotective than usual, hostile, even. A month ago, she had figured that she wasn't the only one who was absolutely beyond sexually frustrated. Turns out, she was right, and there was not much coercion to be had for her to finally have sex with Edward.

It wasn't really fantastic. At all. Actually, it was quite boring. Always in the bed, always with the same moves, and although Edward looked as though he could do the most _fantastic _things with his piano fingers, that was not exactly the case. He fumbled. _A lot_. And he seemed incapable of realizing the significance of stimulation on her clit. Orgasms were very rare for Bella, unfortunately.

The hostility and overprotectiveness had not waned at all. If anything, they'd deepened. If she was out a minute past when she said she would be home, he freaked out. If she was going out and having coffee with a friend, he freaked out. She wanted to rip her hair out. But more than anything, she just wanted to leave, and that terrified her. Absolutely and utterly terrified her.

Edward had been her first and only relationship. He'd hurt her, sure, but they'd gotten through it all. Now, they were engaged, getting married in June, and she just wanted to pack up and leave, just run. Of course, she wasn't sure where she would go, but she didn't care. If she had to fucking hitchhike, it would be worth it. She was suffocating; Edward was absolutely overpowering her. She just couldn't take it anymore. The realization had been coming for some time, but now that it was fully formed, it was terrifying.

**I used to like it here; I can't remember why.**

Not really knowing what else to do, Bella pulled out her phone, still huddled in her towel, and texted Jasper with a simple: _Okay, so I'm freaking the fuck out. _

The reply was almost instantaneous. _Why's that, kitten?_

Bella pushed her fingers through her wet hair, closing her eyes tightly for a moment. _I don't know if I can do this, Jasper. I don't know if I can marry Edward. He's just been so…I don't know. Just terrible since we've been here. I thought the sex would help, but if anything it's made everything words. _She just couldn't help spilling her guts to Jasper. He always knew exactly what to say. Maybe it wasn't therapeutic, but it always helped in some small way, even if it was just to make her smile or take her side on something.

_This was sooner than I expected. Come to Texas. Peter and Char want to meet you._

He made it sound so fucking simple and so damn appealing. She wanted nothing more than to do just that. _I don't want to hurt him, though._

A delay came in the next message, and she was surprised to find that he was calling her, this time. Bella blinked at her phone in surprise. Why was he calling her? They never talked on the phone. _Never_. It was mostly because they both lived in a house with vampires, and if you spoke, they could hear literally everything you said. If you texted, all they could hear was clicking. They didn't know what you said. With her surprise was excitement. It'd been nearly a year since she'd heard Jasper's voice.

"Hello?" she asked hesitantly. Sure, the caller ID said Jasper, but she was still somewhat skeptical.

"Hey, kitten." Bella couldn't help but smile. His voice was deep, rich, perfectly smooth, like honey with a southern twist.

"Hi, Jasper." Putting the call on speaker phone, she pulled on some clothes. Typically, she would have worn something of Edward's, a shirt or maybe some sweatpants, but at the moment, she wasn't too fond of him, so she stuck with her clothes.

"So, you and Edward are having weird times?"

Bella sighed a bit, bending over and twisting her hair up in her towel. "Yeah," she agreed, putting the phone back to her ear. "Just a second."

"'Kay."

Heading downstairs, she waved to Esme, who was frowning softly. She'd heard what Jasper had said, and now she was worrying for her son and daughter both. Despite how he'd been acting Esme knew that Edward adored Bella, and she didn't want to see his heart broken. But at the same time, she understood Bella's troubles and sided with her in some way. It was all just so confusing, but she knew one thing for sure: she did not want to lose either one of them.

Finally finding solace in her car, Bella switched to bluetooth and pulled out of the driveway. "Okay, I'm here again."

"Good. So, is Edward just being his typical dick self?"

"Kind of. Worse, though. I go out for coffee or stay out a bit late and he absolutely flips his shit." Bella turned into the park - one of her favorite places to do mostly anything - and got out, starting to walk around the permitter.

"Yeah, sounds like Edward. Like I said, come to Texas."

"You make it sound so fucking easy. I don't want to hurt him. He's do-"

"And how many times has _he_ hurt _you_?" Bella came to a stop in shock. His tone was sharp, nearly a bark. "Sorry," he apologized, calming down slightly. "But Bella, really. He left you, and now he's obviously hurting you right now."

"I know, but he's been so good to me, and your whole family has." Bella pulled the phone from her ear as she ordered herself a coffee from a cart.

"Bella," Jasper sighed, "the Cullens adore you. Just because you're not with Edward anymore doesn't mean that they're going to just abandon you."

Bella barked out a laugh as she paid, exchanging the cash for the coffee with a smile. Walking away, she took a sip. "Yeah, well the last time that Edward and I weren't together that was exactly what happened. Plus, last time, he tried to get himself killed." She took a sip from her iced coffee, happily walking in the warm sun.

"That's true," Jasper admitted. "But they've learned a lot since then, trust me, and they wouldn't do it again. And as for Edward? I really don't know, Bella, but you get married and you're stuck with him. Literally forever, 'cause he said he'd change you, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then you're unhappy forever. It's going to hurt him worse if you make this decision ten years down the road, fifty, a hundred. And you can only be unhappy for so long, kitten."

Sighing, Bella ran her hand along her face. "You know, I like you better when you're a raunchy fucker."

"Kitten, I'm just telling you things that you're gonna realize in time. Think of me as your…guardian angel? Shit, I dunno. Something cliched like that. But if you need, I can add a bit of raunch and dick influence next time you need advice."

"No, no. You're right. I'll think about it. I'll talk to Edward, too. Thanks, Jasper. Just promise me something?"

"'Course, kitten."

"Don't let your friends eat me if I end up coming down?"

Instead of hearing just Jasper's easy laugh, three distinct laughs carried through the phone.

"I'll protect you from the big, bad vampires," Jasper simpered.

"And there's the dick Jasper I know." Bella sipped at her coffee, her mood brightened instantly.

"Aw. You're so sweet, kitten."

"Shut up."

"Yes ma'am."

"Okay, I guess I should go back. Esme's worried about me and we're making cinnamon buns." Getting to her feet, Bella headed back to her car, carefully dodging the people.

"All right, kitten. I hope to see you soon."

"Yeah," Bella said, slightly glum. As much as she'd like to see Jasper again, seeing him would mean that she'd left Edward and the family. God, she hated this. But Jasper was right. She could only be unhappy for so long. But maybe the conversation with Edward would help. Although half of her - the half that still was in love with and adored Edward - hoped at her, the other half of her wanted to just leave.

**I'm lookin' for a reason to stay.**

**. . .**

Inside Jasper, the beast stirred from it's slumber. Its eyes blinked open, and it yawned, its tongue flicking out. Biding its time had worked in its favor. Its plan was in rolling. While it prowled around its cage, it practically vibrated with excitement. It could _taste _the victory on the rise.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Hi, guys. Sorry this took so long. I know that last chapter I said that my new story would be out the next day, but obviously that didn't happen. I wrestled a lot with both how to continue this story from where I cornered myself and how to begin the other. I was stuck, obviously, for quite a while. But all is well, now, and I'll be starting the new story relatively soon. I**** hope that I've gotten back in your good favors with a longer chapter. **

**Until next time, **

**Claire**


	7. Don't Look Back

**It's a bright horizon and I'm awakin' **

**I see myself in a brand new way **

**The sun is shinin', the clouds are breakin' **

**Cause I can't lose now, there's no game to play **

_Don't Look Back / Boston_

**. . .**

**June 2008**

**Day One: Hanover, NH - Buffalo, NY**

Today was the day. Bella was finally getting out of Hanover, out of her relationship with Edward. In a few hours' time, she'd be on her way to Texas. Shit. Quickly, she locked down those thoughts. If she thought about it too long, then Alice would catch wind of it. Burrowing herself down into the covers, she snuggled her face into her pillows, sniffling softly. A soft knock came on the door, and Bella poked her head out of the covers, rubbing her eyes, feigning tiredness. In all truthfulness, she was miserable, and she _was _sick, but all the same.

**I finally see the dawn arrivin' **

Esme's head poked into the room, her delicate brows pulled up and together in concern for her daughter. A pang of guilt went through Bella, but she quickly ignored it. Although she _would _most likely cut Edward out of her life for the time being, there was no way she would completely ignore the rest of the family. Shit, she had to stop thinking about this. Alice was going to catch on.

"Hi, Bella," Esme said softly. "Alice and I are going out to get some things for chicken noodle soup."

"You don't have to do that." Bella knew that she was laying it on thick, but she had to be convincing.

"Nonsense. We'll be back in a little bit."

With a smile, Esme walked in and kissed Bella's forehead. Bella couldn't help but smile, letting her eyes close again as she burrowed herself back into the bed, pulling the covers over her head. A soft pat came to her hip through the covers and Esme tucked the blankets closer to her ill daughter's frame. A quiet goodbye came from both Esme and Alice and the bedroom door closed. Although Bella did want to succumb to sleep, she kept herself aware, just thinking how miserable she was. That's all Alice needed to know about her future. The sound of Alice's car driving away was heard, and Bella peeked out from the covers.

**The road is calling, today is the day **

Exactly 900 seconds later, Bella tossed her covers back and quickly leapt to her feet. Under the covers, she had been completely dressed in a pair of jeans and her favorite pair of converse with a white tank top. Moving with speed and grace she didn't know she had, Bella practically sprinted down the stairs. She didn't need anything, save the clothes on her back. Everything was replaceable, or she could easily get it back when she was in the clear and everything her cooled down. Pulling her note from her bra, she put it on the door with a bit of electrical tape. Grabbing the keys to the motorcycle and pressing the button to open the garage door, she ventured into the deep recesses.

She silently thanked Rosalie, who had been with her since the beginning. They'd spoken in writing while Edward was away hunting, and she - more so than any of the other Cullens - was adept at keeping Edward out. Bella honestly had no idea why Rosalie would help her, but it didn't matter to her. Sliding into the leather riding jacket, Bella stuffed the helmet over her head and quickly started the motorcycle, speeding out of the garage at a breakneck speed. Thank God for Jake teaching her. Unable to help herself, a bright laugh bubbled from her lips as she tore out into the interstate. Free. She was free. Finally.

**Now I see what I am is holding me down **

**I'll turn it around **

**x x x**

**Day Two: Buffalo, NY - Barrackville, WV**

The previous night, Bella had spent the night in a suburb of Buffalo in this cheap little motel. She'd taken only cash that was in the pack on the back of her motorcycle. There would be no trail of her; she hadn't even taken her phone with the knowledge Edward would try to track it. Furthermore, she was staying to a southern route and would forgo all kind of highways. She would change her direction often and with spontaneity. Alice would not find her. Even her destination was hazy. Maybe she'd stay in a southern state. Maybe she'd find Jasper. Who knew? Bella refused to let herself decide until the time was right.

**I finally see the dawn arrivin' **

**I see beyond the road I'm drivin' **

But for the time being, she was going to have her fun. Practically skipping her way down the shallow stone steps, Bella eagerly sought out a better view. Niagara fucking Falls. It was absolutely gorgeous. Coming to a stop at the railing, she let herself get lost in the rhythmic roar of the water, absolutely enamored by the color blue it flowed. Absolutely stunning.

She wasn't sure how long she stood there, watching the water flow, listening to the families ask other people to take their pictures, but eventually, she knew that she would need to move. As much as she wanted to stay, she was pretty much on the run, and needed to keep moving so that Alice wouldn't pinpoint her placement. Even though she'd put a good amount of space between them, she knew that for the Cullens, her eight hour drive to Buffalo would be two and a half, three tops with their breakneck speeds. Quickly, she made her way back to her car and sent out on her journey again.

**Don't look back, a new day is breakin **

**It's been so long since I felt this way **

. . .

Another seven hours later, Bella was pulling into a small motel in the town of…well, she actually wasn't sure where she was…or what state she was in, but that was all right with her. After paying the needed amount, Bella was traipsing down to the left hallway, trying to ignore the creepy guy who was leering after her. Ugh. No matter, though.

Unlocking the door to her room at the end of the hall, she walked in. It really wasn't as bad as the last one, but it wasn't exactly the Hilton, but she couldn't care. It was just a place to sleep for the night. Tossing her duffel bag onto the bed, she stripped off the comforter, disgusted by the plastic-like feel, and dumped it on the floor. Picking up the phone, she dialed Jasper's number, chewing lightly on her lip while she waited for him to answer.

Finally, his deep, southern drawl sounded in her ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, Jasper."

"Kitten!" he exclaimed, his voice half annoyed and half pleased to hear from her. A small smile tugged at Bella's lips. "I thought you were dead. The whole family's been ringin' my phone off the fuckin' hook wonderin' if you're with me."

"Nah. I'm in…um…Barrackville," she said, studying the hotel service card that was on the desk she sat at. Propping her feet up on it, she looked at her nails. Ugh. Her fingertips were numb. She would definitely have to invest in some leather gloves.

"And where the fuck exactly is that?" Definitely annoyed, now.

"I'm not actually sure. I'm just dodgin' and weavin' all over these back country roads." Her tone was relaxed, and she put little effort into properly pronouncing the Gs at the end of her verbs, much like Jasper.

**I don't mind where I get taken **

**The road is calling, today is the day **

Pulling the map from her inside jacket pocket, she flattened it out, running her fingers over the half-route she'd marked at lunch. With the sharpie she'd accidentally taken from said restaurant, she started to pen in the rest of the route, tapping the end of the marker against her bottom lip. Had she gone left or right? It made a world of difference.

"Well?"

Bella slowly finished drawing out her route. "West Virginia."

"Are you comin' to visit me, darlin'?" If she wasn't completely dumb and numb from sleep deprivation, Bella was pretty sure that she heard a bit of hope in his voice.

"You know that if I make a decision, Alice will know that."

A dramatic sigh came from his end of the phone. "You sound exhausted."

"Yeah," she agreed. "I haven't really been sleepin' for the past few weeks. But it's all right. I should get some more sleep tonight."

"You sound sick." A bit of worry seeped into his voice.

"Yeah, I am. Have been for the past few days. It sucks, especially while I'm trying to drive eight hours a day. But whatever. Just a second." Pushing her hair from her face, Bella got to her feet, going and turning on the shower. Returning to her duffel bag, she pulled out her shower caddy, then went back to the phone. "Okay, I'm back."

"Get some cold medicine; I don't need you sneezing and coughing all over me." His deep laugh sounded, and Bella's heartstrings tugged in the slightest bit. Ugh. What? No. No they did not. She refused to believe that. It was just her being tired.

"I will. I need to get some gloves anyhow. But now, I need to get in the shower and get some sleep. I've got a long…well, I'm not sure how long, but I've got at least a long day ahead of me." Absently, while she spoke, Bella doodled on the pad of paper, just absent little flowers and stick people.

"All right. G'night, kitten." His voice was a quiet purr.

"Good night, Jasper."

**x x x**

**Day Three: Barrackville, WV - Louisville, KY**

Bright and early the next morning, Bella awoke to the sound of her alarm. Forgoing calling Jasper, she changed into a pair of jeans and her leather jacket with her converse and tied up her hair. As there wasn't a Wal-Mart in town, Bella settled for the local hunting supply store. The leather gloves she found there would suffice. Finally, she was back on her bike, speeding toward an outer road that sounded appealing.

. . .

For lunch, Bella stopped at a tiny diner in quite literally the middle of nowhere. While she ate her cheeseburger, she traced the route that she'd taken thus far, refraining from planning further, simply noting the choices she had. Left would take her toward Charleston, and right toward Memphis. Hm. Decisions, decisions. After she'd eaten her lunch and mapped her path, she got to her feet, heading back to the pay phone in the corner, dialing Jasper's number.

Instantly, he picked up. "Kitten?" he questioned hopefully.

"What would you have done if it wasn't me? What if it was Edward and he knew that you were talking to me?" Bella reprimanded.

"Ooh. Sassy, are we? Still sound like shit."

Grumbling incoherently, Bella pushed her hair from her face, adjusting her helmet under her arm. "I'm just stopping to tell you that I'm alive. Have you heard anything from the family?" She couldn't help herself, as much as she knew that it was not wise to ask. She just couldn't help it.

"They're freaking out. Esme was hysterical; Emmett's pissed you didn't bring him along; Alice is pissed that she didn't see it. Oh, and Edward's in a fit of rage. You didn't talk to him did you?"

A forced laugh left Bella's lips. As terrible as she felt about Esme, she really couldn't bring herself to care about Edward's rage. "I tried. I did, but he just decided that he'd use sex as a way to shut me up. I decided it was better to say nothing. He runs after sex because of my blood and stuff."

"Ah," Jasper said simply. Bella knew he was holding something back, but no matter. "Well, I hope I'll see you, soon."

"Mhm," Bella murmured absently. "Maybe." She honestly still wasn't sure. Maybe she would see him soon. She, too, almost hoped, but if she hoped, she'd make a decision. So she would stay indifferent, even to herself, and would make no conscious decision until it was absolutely necessary. "Bye, Jasper," she managed to get out before her time ran out.

With that, she went back to her bike and turned left out of the road. Toward Memphis. Maybe she'd like the barbecue.

**x x x**

**Day Four: Louisville, KY - Memphis, TN**

By the end of the eight and a half hour drive to Memphis, Bella was in hell. Literally. Her ass was numb, she could hardly walk, her head throbbed, and she could hardly breathe. She had learned the hard way that a human was not naturally supposed to straddle something for that long. Jesus. Practically limping into the hotel room that she'd booked for the night. Medicine and junk food were in the bag that the carried with her duffel bag and helmet.

Carefully, she lowered herself onto the bed, groaning quietly. Everything hurt. While she dialed Jasper's phone number, she dumped the bag out. Balancing the phone between her shoulder and her ear, she tore open the pain medication's box and struggled for a while with the lid.

"Hi, kitten."

"Hi."

"Ooh. Foul mood today?"

"I am sore in places that I didn't know I could be sore in."

"Aw, poor kitten. Need me to loosen those muscles up for you."

And the raunchy fucker that was Jasper was back. Good. "Don't even tease me," she said with a quiet groan, cracking her water bottle open and taking double the dose she should have. It might have been in vain, but she hoped that it would completely take away the pain.

"Oh, kitten, but you know I love to tease. Always makes things better in the end."

She was already feeling better. A small smile tugged at her lips, and she took the cold medicine quickly. Instead of getting medicine that would help her sleep, she decided to get a cold medicine that would make her drowsy; she really didn't feel like OD'ing on medicine and sleeping for forty-eight hours straight.

"I wouldn't know," Bella responded petulantly, taking the cold medicine with a quiet sigh. If the back of the box was right, she had about twenty more minutes of coherency before she was completely out of it.

"I can teach you _all _these things if you come to visit me, kitten."

The idea was becoming more and more appealing each time they talked. No. No decision making. It would only screw her over in the end. "You're going to make me make decisions, and then I won't be able to visit," she warned.

"Fine, fine," he relented, sighing much like a petulant child.

Getting to her feet, Bella put the phone on speaker and changed into pajamas before sliding underneath the covers with a quiet sigh. The food in the bag with the medicine went forgotten, as she tried to get comfortable. Everything just hurt.

"Heard anything else from the family?" she asked. She could feel the cold medicine kicking in. Dear God, that was fantastic.

"Not really. Just the usual. Esme's worried about you."

"I know."

"Call her," Jasper coaxed. And just like that, a complete 180. Bella was starting to feel uneasy. She had a feeling that his beast that had been - unwisely - caged was out and prowling around. She had no idea what to expect, but that was all the more thrilling.

"And if Edward somehow tracks the call?"

"Just call her."

"Fuck you."

"Oh, darlin', now who's teasing?"

"Ugh. I'm not even coherent. Go away."

With that, she hung up. Almost instantly, she was dead asleep. So much for barbecue.

**x x x**

**Day Five: Memphis, TN - Alexandria, LA**

The medicine had certainly done its trick. Bella didn't wake up until noon. _Fuck. _Shoving back the covers, Bella scrambled around, trying to get herself ready, pushing a comb through her messy, dark locks, brushing her teeth, washing her face, pulling her hair back, changing into acceptable clothes. As it was growing hotter as she went deeper into the south, she opted for a pair of shorts that reached her knee, a tighter-fitting shirt and her typical converse. Before she went out, she was careful to put on a heavy layer of sunscreen. No fucking sunburns. She refused.

Not putting on her helmet just yet, she headed out of her hotel room and chatted for a bit with the woman behind the front desk, figuring out exactly where to go for lunch; she was absolutely starving. Central BBQ, evidently, was the best. Hm.

An hour later, she found herself extremely unsatisfied. Memphis barbecue was _not _her thing. At all. Too…watery. She preferred a smokier, sweeter sauce, but she could understand the value in it. All the same, she was on the road again - after, of course, adding another layer of sunscreen.

. . .

Why was it so fucking _hot? _Bella was dying, quite literally. How did people deal with this weather? Not only was it _hot, _but it was absolutely humid. By the time she was pulling into a tiny bed and breakfast near in Alexandria, Louisiana, her clothes were nearly glued to her with sweat. She felt absolutely disgusting. It wasn't as though the Super 8 had great standard, though. But still. Trudging inside, she got herself a room. She was running low on money. Gas was expensive, especially with the miles she was driving - and with a motorcycle - and food was getting higher, and the medicine had taken a hit from her cash supply.

Without going through her typical motions of calling Jasper or settling in, Bella went to the shower and turned it onto a cold setting. She was red on her arms where her tee shirt had not protected her and on the tops of her thighs. It wasn't as bad, though, as if she hadn't had put on sunscreen. Plus, the majority of her driving had been in the hours when the sun began sinking, so that had aided significantly; she hadn't been out in the intense light and heat of the day for too long.

Not bothering to gather anything and opting to use the provided soap and hair supplies. Her hair could loo like crap for all she cared. Hell, she could _go bald _and she wouldn't give a fuck. Just as long as she felt clean and wasn't this fucking _hot._

Finally, she was out of the shower, and she was actually somewhat cool. Although the shower she'd taken was ice cold, she was still somewhat warm. She supposed that was from her sunburn. Dear God. Wrapping her towel around herself, she took up her duffel bag, settling for a gauzy tee shirt and a pair of simple cotton panties. Cranking on the A/C, she fanned herself, desperately trying to cool down. She probably needed some aloe vera lotion for her sunburn. Pulling on a pair of mesh shorts that barely even covered her ass - she'd slept in them, mostly - and clasping a bra on quickly so she wouldn't show _too _much.

Tying her hair into a messy bun, she headed out of the hotel through the door at the end of the hall, keycard tucked into the top of her shorts. The block down the road made at a lazy pace hadn't heated her up too much - and the temperature was cooler since the sun had gone down, so that helped. She made her way into the drugstore, pushing some hair back from her face. Walking back to the pharmacy, she picked up a bottle of aloe vera lotion. Wandering down the street, she found a little hole-in-the-wall diner and got herself a meatball sub. After paying, she started making her way back to the hotel, using all of her self-restraint not to eat her sub right then and there.

After the first block, she had a strange feeling that she was being followed. She slowed her pace slightly, listening carefully. Of course, if it was a vampire, she'd be dead before she figured out who it was or what was happening. And if it was a human, the situation would probably by the same. _Yay. _With the next block, the sensation of being followed, being watched, had not hindered in the least. She was still being followed. A quiet noise came from behind, and Bella froze, eyes widening a bit. Shit. Shit. Shit. There it was again.

…Was that a fucking _meow_? Turning around, Bella looked behind her, scanned the landscape. Something brushed against her leg, soft and velvety. Looking down, Bella's heart melted in a second. A tiny, grey and white kitten was wrapping itself around her leg, its tail flicking softly. Its feet, chest, and belly were white, and the color stretched around its mouth and eyes. It looked up at her with these big, wide blue eyes, and meowed again.

Reaching down, Bella hesitantly stroked her fingers over its forehead. A quiet mew came from it and it butted its head against her hand. The poor thing was mangy and looked like it hadn't eaten in days. Feral kitty? Bella thought so. Carefully, she wrapped a hand around the kitten's tiny frame and picked it up. Instantly, it mewed softly and cuddled against Bella's neck, licking lightly at her skin. Giggling softly, Bella kept a hand on it, making sure that it didn't fall or anything.

Once it had felt around her neck, it settled into the crook of Bella's neck, curling around her, resting its face against her collarbones, its back feet scrambling slightly against her back as it tried to steady. Scratching its ear softly, she took note of the fact that the other ear was only half there and it had a few patches on its face that were devoid of hair, scars from fighting. Aw. Poor kitty. Despite its energetic escapades on Bella, its eyes were tired, and it seemed to really need a decent night's sleep.

Finally, Bella was standing in front of the door to the end of her hallway. Looking to the kitten, she pouted.

"Okay, kitty. Ride's over," Bella said with a soft pout.

Picking it up again, she knelt down to gently put it on the ground, but the kitten clutched onto Bella's arm scrambling out of her grip to cling to her shirt. Eyes slightly wide, she reached up and cupped the tiny bundle, making sure it didn't fall. Feral kitty liked her. Heading into the hotel, she tucked the cat into her neck, stroking down its sharp spine. Needed a solid meal, poor kitten. Walking into her room, she attempted to let it onto the bed, but it simply clutched to her. Okay.

Lowering herself onto the bed instead, Bella brought out her sub sandwich, pulling out half of it. taking a large bite, she let out a loud moan. The kitten, mewled and stretched to get to the sandwich. Chuckling softly, Bella spread out her sandwich on the tinfoil and paper that it had been wrapped in. Taking out the plastic silverware, she cut a piece of meatball for the kitten and offered it out on the spoon. Eagerly, it scooped it into its mouth, chewing happily.

Ripping off a piece of tinfoil, she took out a meatball and cut it up, offering it out to the kitten, who eagerly went to it and started scarfing it down. "Careful," she reprimanded, stroking the kitten's spine softly.

Bella chuckled, petting the kitten while it scarfed down it's food. Pizza sauce on its face, it looked to Bella, licking the remnants of its small meal off of its face. Stroking it's forehead softly, Bella ate the half of she sandwich from which she'd shared the meatball and wrapped the other half up and put it in the tiny fridge.

Settling back on the bed, she picked up the phone. The kitten scrambled into her lap, nuzzling against her stomach. Giggling softly, Bella scratched behind its ear, dialing Jasper's number clumsily as the kitten demanded her attention every second.

"Hi, kitten," came Jasper's easy, honeyed voice. "Where are you today?"

"Mm. Louisiana." She laughed lightly, stroking the kitten's body softly, letting her finger curl its tail gently.

"New Orleans?"

"Nah. Alexandria."

"I really have no idea where that is."

Bella let out an easy laugh, letting the tiny kitten nuzzle against her face and bump its nose against her jaw. What a cutie. It needed a bath, though…and a gender. Hm. "I'm not really sure, either." The cat mewed softly, licking Bella's face lightly. Making a face, Bella pulled back a bit.

"What the fuck was that?" Jasper asked with a chuckle.

"I was walking home with food, and now I have a sudden kitty."

"A cat?"

"A cat," Bella affirmed.

"Well, okay. So, are you coming to visit me?"

Sighing lightly, Bella scratched the cat's forehead, letting it nuzzle and cuddle against her. "Maybe."

Jasper simply growled. "Kitten," he warned.

A shudder rolled down Bella's spine, and she let out a small sigh, pushing that to the side. "How long would it take Alice to get a plane to wherever you are?"

Another growl. He knew she was right. Stroking the velvety, striped fur of the cat's side, Bella frowned. Its ribs were too prominent. Lightly taking it by the armpits, she lifted it up. No testicles. Female.

"Oh, you're a female kitty."

"You're not talking to me, are you?"

"No. Sorry. I'm enamored with my kitty. She's so cute. Name her for me?"

A quiet chuckle came from Jasper's end of the phone, and Bella smiled. It was her favorite sound, deep and rich, like honey. It soothed her incredibly.

"Well, what does she look like?"

Bella knew that he was indulging her, and she was glad for it. "She's a tiny little thing and she has this soft fur coat. She'd dark and light gray striped with white paws, stomach, chest, mouth, and around her eyes. She has these pretty blue eyes."

"Hm," he murmured lightly.

"And she likes to cuddle."

"What about…Lady? Like Lady and the Tramp or something?"

"Where the hell did you get that from?" Bella asked with a barked laugh.

"Alice went through a Disney phase for a while. She loathed the movie, but it's my favorite."

"Mine, too!" Bella exclaimed excited. Practically everyone she met didn't like the movie, said it was boring. It was Bella's absolute favorite movie. Every time she saw it, she made these little squealing noises and acted like she was two. All the childhood feels that she had when she watched it were insane. She felt like she just _had _to watch it with Jasper, now.

"Well, maybe I should call you Lady, then."

"Yeah, but then if you call after me in the street, then people are going to think I'm a stranger." A smile tugged at Bella's lips and she petted the still nameless bundle who cuddle against her.

"Well, then when we're alone."

"Are you planning alone time for us?"

"Always, kitten, always."

"I think I much prefer that nickname."

"Me too."

"I should go," Bella said, glancing over at the clock. Nearly ten; she should be asleep.

"All right, kitten."

"And Jasper?"

"Yeah, kitten?"

"I'll see you soon."

With a small giggle, she hung up the phone, letting the still nameless kitty do what she pleased on the bed. Tossing her shorts to the side, she slid under the covers, smiling happily as the velvety fur ball curled against her stomach. Reaching down, Bella stroked it softly, letting them both fall asleep. It was nice to have a friend, a creature - literally - comfort. She had been getting lonely. She'd never properly been alone in the world, and it was getting boring…and lonely. And now she had her kitten. Yay.

And tomorrow?

Well, tomorrow was a mystery. Secretly, though, she was hoping that she'd end up with Jasper.

**I finally see the dawn arrivin'**

**I see beyond the road I'm drivin'**

* * *

**A/N:**

**Howdy, guys. Um, so this was a proper road trip in this chapter. I know that it was kind of short - if it was with Jasper, i would have stretched it out over a few chapters, probably, but - but next chapter, Jasper comes back. :D**

**That's all, lovelies. I know I've been saying this a lot, but new story should be up soon. I'm just having difficulties. But no matter.**

**Until next time, **

**Claire**


	8. Where the Lines Overlap

**I've never been happier.**

**No one is lucky as us. **

**We're not at the end, but we've already won.**

**No one is as lucky as us.**

_Where the Lines Overlap - Paramore_

**. . .**

The cat was the devil incarnate, or at the very least a high-level, mojo-possessing demon. There was no way it was in any way earthly. Of course Bella and her superior, human intelligence had decided that a cat on a motorcycle was a good thing. Well, _duh, _it was. What could go wrong? Oh, right, she could get the absolute fuck scratched out of her and have to stop to plaster bandaids all over herself. Y'know. That could be a thing. All across her arms, her chest, her neck, and her stomach scratches laid. Of course, bleeding - even in a minor fashion - in a vampire's house would be fantastic. What could go wrong? Well, other than being eaten? Typical day for Bella. Fucking cat was out to murder her, or at the very least get her killed.

Tiny, sudden kitty was fucking ferocious.

A trip that was supposed to be about six or seven hours - she thought - turned into a twelve-hour fiasco. At least she hadn't been on the highway. She couldn't imagine how bad that would have been. By the time she'd neared Houston, it was nearly two o'clock in the morning. She just wanted to sleep. Fucking evil, devil-spawn cat. Stopping a gas station-covinent-store-fast-food-restaurant hybrid outside the city, Bella - with the kitten tucked into her side - walked to a pay phone, putting in the coins and dialing Jasper's number.

"Howdy, kitten," was the greeting in his familiar southern drawl that came through the speaker.

"Hey, yourself, cowboy," she said tiredly, scratching the kitten's ear softly as it nuzzled against her.

"Oh, now I've got a nickname, have I? Where are you?"

"Mm. Just outside Houston."

"Jesus. You had a long trip."

"You have no idea. I wanted to stop earlier, but I promised myself that I'd at least get into Texas. And then it was Houston, and now I'm positive if I go another hour, I'll die. So I'm just saying I'll be in tomorrow…or rather today. But later, as I need to sleep. Ugh. And I'm starving. I didn't even stop for lunch." The cat meowed, its tongue flicking against Bella's cheek. Obviously hungry.

"Have you passed through Houston or not?"

"Yeah," Bella responded tiredly, leaning her forehead against the edge of the phone box.

"Well, I'm outside Galveston; I can be there to pick you up in an hour and a half, if you think that you can stay up."

Ugh. Dilemma. Banging her head lightly against the phone box, she shook her head a bit. Realizing that he couldn't see her, she sighed. "I can't, Jasper. Sorry. I'm worried I'll fall asleep. See you tomorrow?"

"Okay, kitten. I'll see you tomorrow." Was she imagining that or was there disappointment in his voice?

"Yeah, bye, Jasper," she said absently before hanging up.

Cuddling the kitten to her, she walked over into the fast food restaurant and got herself a burger and fries. Honestly, she could not wait to be in a kitchen. Hopefully Peter and Charlotte had a kitchen. It wasn't actually like she knew. And if they did, she hoped they wouldn't be opposed to her cooking human food. Hoping for the best, food in hand, she walked into the convent store.

Typically they had little cans of cat food. It would probably be expensive, but the cat really didn't need to be eating people food. Espeically the food Bella was eating. Hell, _she _shouldn't even be eating it. But whatever. Success was found in the third aisle, and she paid for the two cans, one for tonight and one for the morning.

Once back on her bike, Bella drove to a motel a mile or so down the road. Evidently, the (still nameless) kitten had gotten used to the motorcycle, and once they got there, Bella wasn't covered in scratches. Victory. The motel was extremely sketchy, and she was really not fond of the guy who was smoking out front, leering at her.

Keeping her back straight and head held high, she stared forward, walking into the building. Fortunately, the rooms were reasonable, and she gave the allotted mount before walking down the hall to her room. Once she was inside, she let the kitten down, and it instantly went around to inspect. Bella dropped her duffel bag on the ground and eased herself into the chair in front of the desk desk.

Taking the can of cat food first, she opened it up and put it on the floor. Instantly, there was a grey and white blur and the kitten came to a stop in front of the food, shoving its face into the can. Laughing easily, Bella reached down and scratched its forehead gently.

"Maybe you are a boy after all."

Almost as if it had understood, the cat looked up to her and licked its lips, its wide blue eyes looking up at her. Nudging the can a bit, she dismissed it, letting it go back to its meal, and Bella took out her own meal. Fast food was getting extraordinarily boring. If her stomach wasn't making such horrific noises, she wouldn't have eaten.

**. . . **

Bella awoke with a start, sharp pains emanating from her leg. What the fuck? Looking down, she discovered the kitten was clawing at her leg. Reaching down, she lightly pushed a finger against its forehead, easing it away from her.

"All right, all right. I'm up."

Grabbing her room key and the kitten, Bella walked outside and let it do its business. The motel wasn't any less sketchy in the morning, and she had the strangest feeling that someone was watching her. Cutting the bathroom break short, Bella headed back inside, sitting the kitten - who still needed a damn name - on the bed and pulling out some fresh clothes and toiletries. As an afterthought, she put out the can of food for the cat before hopping into the shower.

Although she wanted nothing more than a hot shower with perfect pressure to ease her aching muscles, Bella instead got a cold shower that hardly even worked. Half an hour was spent just rinsing out her shampoo. Pissed off by the time she got out of the shower, she changed into a pair of capris and a tank top. Wetting a washcloth in the sink, she brought it out and pulled the kitten into her lap. Gently, talking to it in a quiet tone of voice, Bella scrubbed its fur, cleaning it. Surprisingly, it didn't make much of a protest, actually leaning into her. Strange cat. She even added a bit of soap. The cat actually fucking _liked _it. Finally, the kitten was dried off, its fur all fluffy. It practically strutted around the room, flicking its tail. Strange little thing.

Dialing Jasper's number, she smiled as it jumped into her lap. Stroking its spine, she let out a laugh as it shivered almost violently. She hummed absently while she waited for Jasper's familiar southern drawl to greet her.

"Howdy, kitten." And there it was.

Almost instantly, a broad smile broke across Bella's face. "Hey. So, I'm awake and clean and the devil spawn is fed and clean. I think I'm about to hit the road. Where exactly am I going?" Jasper said something in a blurred buzz and Bella blinked, pulling the phone back from her ear, making sure it was connected properly. "Run that by me one more time?"

"Sorry, kitten. I was just excited." He was excited to see her? Butterflies tickled at Bella's stomach. He supplied the address, and Bella looked at her map, smoothing out the worn edges. It had gotten a _lot _of use on her road trip. Feeling that it was safe to do so, she marked in a path, memorizing the first few roads and turns.

"Are you gonna make good on your promise?" she asked absently, folding the map up and tucking it into her back pocket.

"What promise was that?"

"Silly, forgetful vampire. The one you made to me to not let your friends eat me."

There was a smile in his voice when he spoke again. "I'll protect you from the big, bad vampires, kitten."

"And my actual kitten?"

There was a bit of a ruckus before a different voice greeted Bella. It was the same tone as Jasper's, but slightly slower with a more pronounced southern accent. "Hi, Bella. It's Peter. I'm just informin' you that I will leave your cat alone. You, on the other hand, I might just have to eat." Jasper's familiar laugh - albeit a bit muffled - came from the background.

"Well good, at least my corpse will have a cat."

Their loud laughter combined, and the receiver clattered around. Rolling her eyes, Bella gently moved the cat off her lap. "I'll see you guys soon. Really excited to meet you, Peter, and Charlotte, too." With that, she hung up.

A thin layer of sunscreen went on Bella's shoulders and upper arms. Hopefully, it would be enough for the - evidently - hour and a half drive to the place Peter and Charlotte lived. Looking to the kitten, she pressed her lips together.

"What am I going to do with you?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips. The kitten meowed at her, going to wind itself around her ankles. "I guess I could put you in my bag. I'm not wearing a shirt today, so I can't just tuck you in there." She tapped her chin, sighing softly. "Will you go in my bag, pretty please?" The kitten mewed at her and butted its face against her leg. "Well, I'm taking that as a yes. Just please don't launch yourself out of it."

**. . . **

An hour and a half her fucking ass. Between making sure that the cat wasn't dying in the bag, pulling over to look at the map, and then driving with one hand when the cat demanded her to hold it, the trip had turned into three hours. For miles, she'd been driving on a tiny dirt, country road. A total of two houses had popped up in the last thirty miles. Finally around six, Bella was pulling up in front of a ranch house.

The second she turned off the engine, a blur came across the front yard, and cold arms were slinging her from the seat and crushing her to a chest just as cold. Squealing, the cat clawed at Bella and managed to get on the ground. A strangled laugh left her lips. Silly cat. The familiar scent of summer and fresh cotton invaded her senses. Jasper. A broad grin broke across her face, and she wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face gently into the crook of his neck. God, she'd missed him.

Finally, she was released, and she grinned up at him. Still gold eyes. It worried her a bit. The beast was still caged. Maybe he'd gotten a full handle on it, but Bella seriously doubted it. They just stared at each other for a moment, and finally, Bella pulled a face. Jasper broke into laughter, giving her another hug.

"Missed you, kitten," he said brightly, laying a kiss to her cheek.

"Missed you, too, cowboy." Frowning a bit, Bella looked around. "I had a cat. Where's my cat?"

Her eyes caught on two blonde people, a man and a woman. The man was tall, about six feet tall; he was a tad bit more compact with a bit blunter facial features and lighter hair than Jasper, but surprisingly, they were quite similar, though Peter's hair was shorter than Jasper's. The woman was of average height, probably about 5'4 (Bella's height.) and wore her sun kissed, blonde hair down her shoulders in messy waves. The man held her (still fucking nameless) cat in his arm, scratching its head. Bella recognized the woman from the picture on New Year's. Charlotte. So the man must be Peter.

Smiling easily, Bella waved. "Hi," she greeted only mildly awkwardly. "I'm Bella."

"Aw. She's so cute," Charlotte said with a broad smile, showing off her teeth.

Momentarily, Bella was stunned. She wasn't used to vampires smiling in that manner. The Cullens never showed off their teeth in such a manner. It was refreshing. Charlotte darted forward, and Bella nearly stumbled back, their noses nearly touching. Bella smiled back, and Jasper noticed the subtle wrinkle at her nose and at the edges of her eyes, an indication of a real smile. Too often, he found that when she smiled, it was forced. It was obvious that she already like them. Jasper was absolutely elated.

While Charlotte and Bella hugged, Jasper took the moment to find the differences in Bella. A year had done her well. Very well. His beast purred in appreciation of the subtle widening of her hips, the extra pounds added to her rear, giving her a full, round bottom. It - and Jasper - couldn't wait to see the way her hips looked when she walked. They pulled away from each other, and his eyes were drawn to yet another new feature. Breasts. Oh, God, yes. Bella had never been exactly well endowed in the chest area, but he'd be damned if she didn't have the best pair he'd seen in ages. Perky and full, he couldn't help but want to poke them, touch them, hold them, bite them, lick them. Ugh. His beast was practically salivating at the idea.

"What's its name?" Peter asked as he walked forward, pressing a kiss to Bella's cheek.

"That's actually a very good question. I've been asking it, but the damn thing just meows."

Bella's bottom lip pushed out in a pout, and her hands went to her hips as she looked at the cat who was purring loudly in Peter's arms, nuzzling its face against his strong bicep. Peter laughed, and Bella smiled back at him. It was strange for Bella to feel so easy around people she'd just met, especially vampires, but she wasn't protesting. They were much like Jasper, laid back and easygoing. They weren't perfect, like the Cullens seemed to be, and they realized that. They didn't try to act human. Bella very much liked.

Turning back to Jasper, she smiled broadly. It felt so good to smile; it had been such a long time since Bella had done so. "You look good," she informed him.

"As do you." Snatching her bag up, he slung it over his shoulder, winding an arm around Bella's shoulders, starting to lead her inside.

When she looked back up, she discovered with a start that Peter and Charlotte were already gone. To Bella's dismay, the inside of the house was not air conditioned; it was just as hot as the summer sun outside. But then again, they had no need for it. They were vampires; they didn't feel discomfort from the temperature changes, so why should they?

Bella was just so used to the Cullens' human accommodations: a kitchen, a dining room, air conditioning. It was strange seeing an actual vampire house. But then again, why did they live in a house if they didn't need to sleep or tire? Countering herself, she supposed that they could want a house because the human instinct to want a home, some place that they could call theirs without a doubt was still there. It was a gorgeous place

Bella was surprised, though, as she and Jasper walked into the living room, to find that it was, in fact, furnished. It had a rustic, country feel with the ceiling beams exposed and unfinished wood floors. Since there was no need for a dining area or kitchen, they had simply left it open and airy, extending the living room until it transitioned into an art room. Although she had no doubt that they could afford anything and everything they wanted, there weren't state of the art supplies. They were basic supplies with generic names with an easel built out of rough wood, no doubt handmade.

"Char and I aren't a huge fan of fancy things. We prefer having the necessities and no more," Peter said, suddenly behind Bella. Jumping slightly, Bella looked to him, smiling at him, her eyes tracing along the walls of the house. She liked that. It made them feel more…relatable, more human than vampire, actually.

Pictures of Peter, Charlotte, and Jasper (dating back to probably the forties or fifties) that laid in picture frames on the shelves with the numerous books among the paintings on the walls. One caught her eye. It used vivid tones and flawless brush strokes. It was obviously of a woman. She was siting down, topless, her milky skin bared, blonde waves spilling down her back. Silvery highlights in half-moon shapes, slightly jagged in some places covered her back and what of the arms could be seen. She overlooked a sapphire lake that seemed to glitter, even in paint. Bella was momentarily stunned.

"That's of Charlotte." Peter, again.

"It's stunning," Bella breathed.

"Why thank you."

"Of course."

They used colors that fit the landscape. Beige and creams and golds but with pops of sky blue and turquoise that brought it to life. It felt like home and she'd only just walked in. Turning around, Bella thought she'd seen all there was to see, but then she actually looked through the windows the covered the entire back side of the space. The house overlooked an expansive lake, and she instantly recognized it as the one from the painting of Charlotte.

"God, this house is amazing," Bella said to herself.

"Now, if you're done gawking, I can show you to your room." Charlotte, this time.

Looking back at the blonde vampire, Bella smiled, unapologetic. "I'd like that."

Taking her bag from Jasper, she walked with Charlotte down the hall into a bedroom. It was simple; the walls were white, and there was an unmade full-sized bed tucked into a corner, a wardrobe across from it next to the door, and the wall to the left was nearly completely of window. It showed a perfect view of the lake and the large trees in the backyard.

"Is the entire back of your house windows?" Bella asked, incredulous.

"Yes," Charlotte agreed. "We really love the view. We don't want to lose that just because we're indoors." Turning to walk out, she gestured around the room. "Feel free to do whatever you want with the place. We'll have to go into town to get you some stuff, so we can get you some paint while we're there to liven the place up a bit. The bathroom's across the hall-" Bella was suddenly very glad that they did have that human amenity. "And…well, that's it. I'll let you be." With that, she left. Blunt, to the point, yet friendly and warm. Bella liked her.

Finally.

Finally, she was free.

But more than that, she was happy.

* * *

**A/N: Hi, guys. I know that this chapter didn't have a lot of Jasper, but there will be in the future chapters, no worries. Um, so, now you've met Peter and Charlotte, and we're ready to have some fun at their place. **

**A few things:**

**ONE: I have a new story out. Some of you may have already read it and reviewed it, and to those people *mwah* thank you. But anyways, it's called **_Savior_**, and it's a Bella x Jasper story. I would appreciate it if you'd check that out!**

**TWO: I've made a blog for my fanfictions. FF is blocking me from writing it here, so it's my **username/pen name** with **blogspot . com **at the end. Or it;s on my profile. All chapters for all stories will be posted there in addition to here. It's just a precautionary measure in case for whatever reason my stories are pulled from FF.**

**Until next time, **

**Claire**


	9. NOTICE

So, hi guys. I know that it's been a fair few months since you've heard from me and I'm _so _sorry for that. My life's been a bit hectic, and my inspiration level has been absolutely subzero. I've only recently found my email password and am absolutely overwhelmed and so touched by the fact that people are still reading and wishing I'd return to writing. It means so much to me that you still care.

After a fair amount of time on this account (on and off with writing) I've decided to leave it. I will not be leaving fanfiction, but I find that this account holds things that I am not completely proud of and that do not show off my abilities as a writer. I need a fresh start, and I've got loads of ideas swimming around in my brain.

If you would like to follow my future endeavors with fanfiction, my new username is: **tombstone shadow**

Once again, I apologize for being absent and thank you for your support. I hope that you'll continue to stick with me in the stories to come (on my new account).

If you have any questions (or complaints) feel free to message me.

Also, I will most likely be in the market for a beta, if anyone is interested.

Much love (or until next time),

Claire


End file.
